Gettin’ Uppity, and Puttin’ On Airs, In the Hot Town of Tel Aviv, Tonight! Are Them Jew Boys "High Yellow", or "Octoroon"? No, They Is Mighty Whitey! That’s the News, From Now On, For You!
You’ve heard of the Uppity Nigger? Well, Now We Got the Uppity Jew. What’s a U.S. Secretary of State, or Vice President, To Do?
“Alpha Dog” Israel To American Puppy Dog: “Sniff My Ass, Eat My Shit! Rub It On Your Nose, and Smear It On Your Pants! My, What a Nice, Shit Faced Little Clown Dog You Are!”
“Now, Fork Over the 30 Billion in U.S. Taxpayer Aid You Promised Us, Ya Fucking Wuss! Ya See, I’m Just Like a Big Bank on Wall Street, I’m Too Big to Fail!”
“It’s He-Brew Scudwiser Beer Time! Time To 'Bail Out' Another ‘Over Leveraged’ (that's 'Over Borrowed') Jewish Guy, Again!” Does Anybody See a Pattern Here? Naaaw! No Way! Them Jew Boys Is Too Smart to get too far out on a limb!
I Am NOT an Anti-Semenite! I’m NOT Against Anyone’s Semen, or DNA, No Matter How Much They Exhibit “Defective Nutty Acting”, In Their “Dynamic Noggin Attic”, or In Their “Daily Nutritional Attitude”, or In Their “Daily Natural Aptitude”!
America to Israel: “Yes, Shlomo, Dear! Please Don’t Pussy Whip Me Again! I’ll Be Your Good Little Bitch! I Won’t Bring It Up Again! Mum’s the Word! Here’s the 30 Billion, Now Go Buy a Condo Settlement!”
“I’ll Even Let You Do Me Again, Anytime You Want, in “Shlomo” Slow Motion! Hump Me, You Big Hunky Hairy Heeb, Like the Good Little U.S. Lap Dog I Am!”
“My, What a BIG Jew Atomic Penis You Have! Your Nutty Flavored Semen Just EXPLODES Inside My Entertainment Walls!”
(Text from Bernard, “Ya Gotta Admit, the Boy still has the Touch, or is that Touched? Touch me Baby! Give me your Hand, and show me the Way! Oh yeah, I‘m Explodin‘ Now! Hmm, what a Nice Nutty Flavor!” )
How Did That Sneak in There? Oh, Yeah! Sneak It in, in Between My Wailing Walls! Bang My Box, with that Little Symbolic Box on Top of Your Head! Do Me Baby! Now Rock, Back and Forth! Show me you REALLY Mean it! And Start Mumbling Crazy Stuff!
Now Grind it, Right In! Bang It, You Little Bitch, Like Your Life Depended On It!
I SAID, “GGRRIINNDD IITT HHAARRDDEERR!” That’s NOT HARD Enough! BANG IT, You Little Prick, as HARD AS YOU CAN! Bam! BAM! BAAMM!
BANG ME! WITH YOUR LITTLE Molecular Atomic DICK!
Oh, GOD…
(Sound of very rapid Banging and Squeaking Bed.)
I’M…
(Bang-squeak-Bang-squeak-Bang!)
AT…
(Bam-squeak-Bam-Squeak-BAM!)
GER, GER-ROUNDDDDD…
(BAM-BAM-BAM, BAAMMM!)
ZE, ZE, ZERO! UUUNNNGGGHHH! UUUNNNGGG! AAAHHHHGGG!
BBLORRPPP, SPLOOSH, squeak! BLORP, SPLAP, squeak! BLURP, Flazz, squeak!
dribble.
Squeak.
(Sound of a little dog, panting very rapidly!)
Oh, WOW, Baby! That was GREAT! GOOD DOGGY!
God, I LOVE YOU! Especially Your Billions in Bullion! Money is Such an Aphrodisiac! You’re Such a Good U.S. Sugar Daddy! We Really do Love Each Other, Don’t We?
Ya know, I think We Have the Basis Here, for a Real Long Term Relationship, Don’t You?
We just gotta get a few things settled first, ya know, a few ground rules for a relationship!
Oh, yeah! "The Heeb and the Shiksa", this is gonna work out great!
Who should we get to play in the movie?
I don’t know, we might have trouble there, but then, maybe not! We'll just change a few names! Easy as pie!
* * *
I Text Myself, Whenever I Want!
This is my first Official release, in my “New Delayed Reaction Series”. Since I’m not getting paid the Big Bucks by the New Muck Yuck Times to write this Blogshit, I figure I might as well release my “Gospel Messages” whenever the fuck I want. No deadlines, AND I’m my own Boss! Hey, “Cave Bin” Laden does it with his Cave Releases, so why can’t I?
And since I’m The Boss of Me, whenever I want to feel good, I just order an Imaginary Employee to come in and suck up to me, and in my Wildest and Best Fantasies, the secretary willingly, and with full consent, and no sexual whorasstiments intended, SUCKS ME! Now that’s a Good Day at the Office! (whorasstiment - that’s my new word. As a “writer”, I can do that.)
So, how do you like this “settlement” piece, about Israel as the New Alpha Dog, giving America Puppy Training? Hmmm?
I call it, “Thoughts on the Ground”. Or, the “New Jewish Realty Service”. That’s NOT a typing ERROR! Reality versus REALTY. “Sidney, have I got a Condo for You! Location! Location! Location!”
“And it even has a nice River view! Look Sidney, East, or West Bank, what’s the difference! Does it matter if it’s in a kind of a ‘Bad Arab’ neighborhood? Oh, just the usual New York stuff, barbed wire, flood lights, Walls, guns.”
“Anyway, Blog Boy, when I decide to publish is My Timetable! And my Blog of Condiment Settlement Sentiments, is My Own Intellectual Capital!”, and I ain’t Sharing it with NOBODY, ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WITH A DIFFERENT STINK ASS Religion than MINE! Go Pray somewhere else, you Wrong Religion Person YOU!
“Go Land” on some other “Heights”, and get your “Gassy Ass Stripped” somewhere else, because you’re just an Occupation LOSER!
Bottom Rail On Top This Time, Shoe On the Other Foot! Dancin’ By the Light of the Moon!
Israel to World: “Ain’t nobody pushing the JEW around NO MO! We were almost wiped out during World War II, but if you try it again, you got another think coming, ya Motherfucker! We didn’t work our way up from Blue Jeans to Boy Bands, to Atom Bombs for Nothing!”
“If YOU and your Taxi Cab Driving Brooklyn cousins, Al Kyda, or Al Kabob, or your gay fag cousin, Swish Kabob, try and take us Jews down again, we’re gonna take You, AND the Whole Fucking World, down with Us! Got it, Mohammed Rag Head Sand Nigger Boy?”
“It’s MUTUAL ASSURED DESTRUCTION TIME, all over again! M.A.D.! And I mean INSANE! If WE Go DOWN, You’re Going Down With Us!”
“No more of this “No more Jews! Just Arabs left over!” No way Ahkmed! There won‘t be any Jews, or Arabs, left in the Middle East! That’s the Deal, see!”
“The Whole Tank Farm’s gonna BLOW, see, if you keep trying to make us go! Got it, El Kabob? Its El Kabong for all of us, this time! We’re ALL Dirty Rats, this time, with No Place to Jump Ship! You got my Drift, Buster?
Ka-Boom! Hey Ma! Look! I’m on Top of the World! I’m on FIRE, and I’m takin’ the Whole World With Me! I Love Ya, MA! You’re the BEST Mom, a Boy could EVER have! I LOVE YA! We’ll all talk to Mohammed, and Jesus, and God, and Allah, and Yahweh, when we get there! KA-BOOOMMM!”
FLA-BAAAAMMM! GA-BOOOOMMM! WHA-BAM BOOM, GAH DOOOMMM!
WAAAWWWHHHOOOSSSHHH!
So ya see, Mister A-Rab Persian Boy, things ain’t gonna be so “SUNNI” any more, on your side of the Muslim Street! In fact, they’re gonna get a lot more “Shiite”! So you got your choice, it’s gonna be either Sunny, or Shitty, but not both, ya can’t have Both!
You choose, and what you decide will determine whether or not you’re gonna be around to pray five times a day! If you pick wrong, you’re gonna be Radioactive History! Dust in the Wind! Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust, just a whole lot Quicker, Pal! No time for lollygagging, or smelling the roses!
There’s No More Pushing the Jew around! NO MORE! If I go, YOU GO TOO!
That’s the new word on the Street.
You wanna find out how much “street cred” there is to that, well, go ahead, and you be the first to push “The BUTTON”. I’ll be 6,000 comfy miles away! You my friend, will be at the New “GROUND ZERO”. I hope you got a really good Radiation Suit. But hey, why not push the Big Button, you’ll just get to see Allah, sooner. You tell him you tried everything, except Peace. Okay? That’s what YOU TELL ALLAH, when you meet him.
Tell Allah YOU TRIED EVERYTHING, EXCEPT PEACE. I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear that!
GOT IT, Mr. Suckdeekee, Mr. Super Holy Muslim Man?
Besides, a radioactive Middle East will be good for Tourism! “There’s nothing like a Radioactive Spring Time, in the Middle East! I hear the Weather is just Lovely, this time of Year! AND NO CROWDS! NO PEOPLE! NO TROUBLE BOOKING a ROOM! NOT A SOUL LEFT to bother ya! Barren, lifeless, empty, the perfect place to relax and get away from the rat race!”
Allah will be So Pleased! You tried So Hard to get along, but there was nothing left to do but BLOW UP THE FUCKING WORLD!
ALLAH WILL LOVE THAT, and GIVE YOU A MEDAL, and a New Prayer Rug, for BEING THE BEST MUSLIM, in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! (Sound of Applause and cheers, Happy Clapping, AK-47s firing in the Street! Walla, walla, walla!)
Happy Mother: “He was the Best Suicide Bomber, a Mother could ever Wish For! Allah surely Loves him, now! He was a credit to his Religion, and his Race!”
But, but, but…
The Infidel White Man MADE me do it! I HAD NO CHOICE, I HAD TO! I HAD TO BLOW UP THE WORLD, TO PROVE I LOVED IT! I HAD TO DESTROY THE WORLD, TO SAVE IT! It all makes Sense, with Precise Geometrical Logic! It’s all right there, on the pages of the Holiest of Holy Books! It’s what Allah, God, or Yahweh, would have Wanted!
DESTROY HIS WORLD, DESTROY HIS CREATION, TO PROVE YOU LOVE HIM!
IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE! PRAISE ALLAH! PRAISE GOD! AND YAHWEH, TOO!
A New World Order? Who, Is On the Bottom of the Shoe, This Time?
What will the world be like, with no more Jews, or Arabs, in the Middle East? A Full blown Ethnic Cleansing! Imagine that! There won’t be Anybody left to Pray, and be SO HOLY!
The place is starting to sound a whole lot better already!
You see, Arabs and Jews are just like Men and Women. Ya can’t live with ‘em, and ya can’t live without ‘em! And they Still keep Fucking Each Other! Go figure!
Signed,
Faint “Mandelbaumowitzinsteenberg O’Donnell Hoodi Booty” Bernard
The Only Real Religious Saint left, after both the Jewish Atomic Penis, and the Arab
Atomic Penis, EJACULATED ALL OVER, the Whole Fucking God forsaken Middle East!
Bernard, THE Official Member of the ONLY Correct Religion, on the Face of the Planet!
Nana, Nana, Na Na! My Religion is Better than Yours!
My Atomic Penis is Bigger than your Atomic Penis!
My Dick is Bigger than Your Dick! In fact, you don’t have a Dick! Because I Blew it off, with my ATOMIC PENIS!
You dickless dickwad!
* * *
Telegram, or text message, from God to Israel: “What the Fuck? God is waiting! I have a Big Party ready for the whole Mid East Gang! Lotsa food! Free Radioactive Religious Cleansing when you arrive! Can’t wait to see you! Drive carefully!”
“Remember to bring ALL your Holy Books, and I will correct all the mistakes, with my yellow highlighter!
Signed,
Your Big Buddy,
GOD, ALLAH, and YAHWEH!
Also known as, “THE HOLY CARTEL”!
HOLY OPEC, BATMAN! It’s the “Organization of Prophet Exporting Countries”!
P.S. Allah says, “See you soon!”
“Don’t worry, I have barrels of Atomic Burn Crème,
when you get here!”
“I’m SO PROUD of you guys!”
* * *
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights Reserved.
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
Have you tried the Radioactive Potato Salad? It’s very Zesty!
The CLOCK is TICKING! And it’s going BACKWARDS!
De-Evolving back to the BIG BANG!
Think about that, Aaron, and Moustafa.
Christian Freak in Colorado: “Now wait a minute! There ain’t no Evolution, and that’s Proven Biblical FACT, AND, there never was, and never will be, a BIG BANG!”
“That’s What I BELIEVE, so it Must BE TRUE!”
“And I’m willing to Fight to the Death, to prove my Love for Mankind, and to force you to believe, what I believe, even if I have to kill you, to show how much I LOVE YOU!”
“There ain’t no room for COMPROMISE, PAL! THIS IS THE END TIMES! WE’RE ALL GONNA GO OUT, IN A BLAZE OF HOLY GLORY!”
“YEE-HA! JIHAD! RIDE ‘EM, COWBOY! RIDE ‘EM, JEW BOY!”
“SO LONG, LITTLE DOGGIES!”
“HOME SWEET HOME, ON THE ATOMIC TESTING RANGE!”
Ka-BOOM!
(Lotsa Big Mushroom Clouds! All Fluffy and Puffy!)
Lights out, John Boy!
Lights Out, Pa!
Good Night, Mahkmood!
With 72 Virgins waiting for ya, you won’t miss a thing! Trust me! Just you, and an ETERNITY, humpin’ A PUSSY!
Pooky Waits in Heaven, To Feel Your Big Atomic Penis!
“Yes, Dear! I’m COMING! I’ll be right there!”
“Was that any BETTER, Dear? Did I do it just right, this time? NO? Harder? Faster? Slower? A circular Motion? Whuh? Okay, okay, I’ll try, try again!”
If you don’t succeed the first time…
You might have an Eternity to try, try again!
That’s a Good Thing, right?
“I hear you, Dear! I’m coming!”
“I said, I’ll be right UP, and I promise I’ll get it Up!”
“Oh, FUCK! (Shake-shake) The bottle’s EMPTY!
Jesus Christ! I gotta Fuck Her, AGAIN!? This chick is NUTS!
“There is No Way I can do it Again! Both my heads are just not into it!
“Daddy Boo, where are you, Poopsie Woopsie?”
“I gotta fuckin Hide!”
“Poopsie! I said, RIGHT NOW, or Mama’s gonna get Mad! I’m Waiting!”
“Oh god! NOOOOO! NOT AGAINN! AAAAAAHHHHHHIIIEEEE!
“Where’s the Backpack, with the BOMB IN IT? I GOTTA STRAP IT ON!”
“Oh, Good! Plenty of Dynamite!”
“Where’s the Fucking Detonator?”
“GIMME THE FUCKING DETONATOR!”
“The Button! PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON!”
“OH GOD! THE BATTERY IS Dead!”
“Shmooky! Oh, Shmooky! Where are you! Poopsie Woopsie is getting HOT and HORNY!”
“SHMOOKY, I NEED IT NOW!”
“Shmooky, what’s the matter? You’re not looking so Good! Here, let me help! I think I know what you need! A little Pussy will make you feel a lot better!”
“Shmooky! You look like you’re having a Heart Attack! What’s the matter, baby? Don’t you wanna play Snuggle Wuggle, any more? You look about as happy as a Suicide Bomber!”
“I know, I’ll pretend I’m a Virgin! You always like that! Which one do you want me to be? You have a choice of 72!”
CLUNK! CRASH!
“Shmooky? Wake up! You’re starting to scare me! Breath, Shmooky! Not wanting to Fuck somebody isn’t NORMAL!”
* * *
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