I tell ya, I get no Respect! I just flew in from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! If you're Starving in Africa, why not move to where the Food is?
[At the Home Made Joke Department. I actually made these next jokes up! Pat me on my Weeny, and give it a Big Kiss! I iz a good Boy! (Female kisses, Women Only!) You gay dudes stay on Your side of the field!]
Ready, Comedy Clubsters?
Question: What’s the difference between a Muslim Terrorist, and a bailed out Wall Street Banker?
Answer: Not a thing. Both believe in following their Profit, or Prophet, at all Costs!
* * *
Question: What’s the difference between Muslim Terrorists collapsing the Twin Towers, and U.S. Bankers collapsing the U.S. Economy?
Answer: Not a thing! Both involved a 911 Emergency Call to the President, and Big Government to clean up the Huge Mess.
No? Let’s see…
Both caused frantic 911 Emergency Calls to the President, a Big Government Effort to clean up the Yooj Mess, a lot of people got burned financially, were thrown out on the streets, lost their jobs, their life savings, and almost lost their will to Live! Now, that’s pretty close, don’t cha think?
And the Biggest Difference?
Oh, now I remember, one involved the Muslim Prophet, and the other involved the Money Profit! Bottom line it? They were both about Religion, but just a different definition of “The Maximum Prophet”. (Ba-bump! Cymbal CRASH!) But overall, pretty much the same Effect.
I still don’t get it!
Okay, how about…
KA-BOOM! And Boy, is that a Long, Waay, Down!
In my best country western Twang, that a rural bumpkin can understand, “How many times does a Horse have to throw ya, before ya catch on? Have You Forgotten Yet, Jobless Boy? Or do you wanna lie there in the dirt, alittle while longer?”
* * *
Question: What’s the difference between the Twin Towers Meltdown , and the U.S. Economy Meltdown?
Answer: One involved Toxic Materials, the other involved Toxic Assets. After a while, they’re pretty much the same.
* * *
Question: What’s the difference between a Handout for Freeloaders on the Back of Society, and a Tax Cut for the Rich?
Answer: Not a thing. Not one god damned thing.
* * *
Question: Have you had the Republican “Economic Cheesy Melt” Sandwich?
Audience: No, what is it?
Answer: It’s two slices of Wonder Bread, with Nothing in between!
And the bread is burnt to a rock hard crisp, for extra nutty flavor. Theoretically, it’s supposed to have a surprisingly fresh “Free” Market Flavor, that melts itself! It also apparently makes you feel very Patriotic, while you “Eat It”!
Careful you don’t break a tooth! Course, if you’re a toothless Southern Republican Bumpkin, you probably don’t have too many teeth to worry about, and really don’t need National Health Care anyway, that is, until you get Sick, and then you just “free load” off the Emergency Room, you cheap white Trash southerner!
Isn’t it funny that, when you get ME to Subsidize, that is, to Pay for Your Emergency Room Care, then all of a sudden, magically, “You Don’t Mind a Big Government MANDATE”, as long as I’m Paying the MANDATED Emergency Room Care For YOU, Ya Cheap White Southern Socialist Freeloader!
And if you already are getting Health Care Benefits thru your job, you’re getting them TAX FREE!
I pay for my private individual health policy with AFTER TAX DOLLARS, so I’m SUBSIDIZING YOU, you Socialist Freeloader Fuck! Why? Because YOU don’t pay taxes on the Dollar Value of your Health Care Benefits, and I do.
Your Health Benefits are part of your Total Wages, BUT you don’t pay ANY taxes on them! Got it? Ya Commie Socialist, Southern Traitor, Goldbricking Freeloader!
YOU my friend, are getting a “freebie”, a TAX FREE Nigger HANDOUT, from Big Gubmint, ya Southern Socialist Cadillac WELFARE QUEEN! Ain’t that Sweet, a white Southerner, acting just like a Nigger! Ain’t so High and Mighty Whitey now, are ya, NIGGER WHITEBOY? And that’s just what YOU are, Southern Bumpkin boy, a Nigger Lovin’, SOCIALIST QUEER, HANDOUT TAKIN’, NIGGER WHITEBOY! How ya like them apples?
And if you “go naked”, without any coverage becuz you’re healthly NOW, when you do finally get sick or injured, you can call Republican Senator Bitch MyCuntILL, (yes, that’s right, Bitch “My Cunt ill”) from Kentucky, and ask him if he can spare some of that Senator Style Health Care HE GETS! Or, if he has some spare Kentucky Horse Teeth he can lend ya, to chaw with, becuz you don’t got DENTAL, ya toothless No Brains WhiteBoy.
* * *
Question; Do you know why Republicans don’t want to give the people Universal Health Coverage?
Answer: They’re afraid the People will get too Healthy, and rise up in Revolt.
Marie Antoinette: “If the People need Health Care, let them go to a Doctor! Now, pass me that piece of Cake, I’m just ravenous!””
* * *
Question: Have you heard that the Republican Party really “cares” about the Ordinary Citizens of America?
Answer: [Long Pause. Silence. Sound of Squeaking chairs.] That’s a Joke, right? Is that supposed to be Funny? Did somebody turn off the laugh track? What the fuck happened to the Laugh Track? That WASN’T FUNNY!
* * *
Has Joe, the Blue Collar Plumber, EVER Even Read, the U.S. Constitution?
Hey Pal, the fucking Constitution never promised you a Rose Garden, or Free Health CARE! No way!
Life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of Happiness, maybe, but it NEVER EVER promised you health care! It said you had “a Chance” at Life, but nothing about once you were already HERE!
Did the Constitution promise you a car? NO!
Did it Promise you a good marriage, with Great SEX? NO!
Did it Promise you would get along with your Parents? NO!
See what I’m sayin’?
It does say something about looking after your Welfare, but that just means, “How are Ya? Are you Faring Well? And Top of the Mornin’ to Ya, nice day!”
It’s like saying, “How are you doing?”
You’re supposed to say, “I’m Fine!” You’re Not supposed to say, “I’m doing really Shitty, the Republicans fucked me Again!” That’s just Not Polite!
The Constitution doesn’t say ANYTHING about MRI’s, Cat Scans, and Co-Pays, or Chemo Therapy, Cars, or SEX, or airplanes! No Sir!
In fact, I got news for ya, Pal, anything NOT MENTIONED in the Constitution, is Unconstitutional! Yes Sir!
According to STRICT Interpretation of the Constitution, having Sex is Unconstitutional! So Stop Touching yourself, Immediately! YOU Unconstitutional, Unpatriotic Bastard Sex Toucher!
AND, the Constitution doesn’t say ANYTHING about Early Founding Fathers Doctoring, like bleeding you at the combo doctor/barber shop, to let out the Bad Vapors!
Or about giving you Tincture of Mercury to cure what ails you (a fatal poison then, but they didn’t know it, cause it was “Slow Acting”. Now mercury is most often found in Tuna Sandwiches, or thermometers.).
And the Constitution never said anything at all about doctors washing their hands between touching patients, or washing the Blood off the surgical instruments from the previous patient, or even washing the doctors hands or instruments, from the previous pregnant woman, before sticking their hands up your VAGINA, and causing you to die from the all too popular “Bed Fever” infection passed from woman to woman, by arrogant idiot asshole doctors!
You can Kiss your wife away, when she gets that! Now it’s called Sepsis, or Blood Poisoning. Women lasted about two weeks after they got that, and no amount of praying to JESUS helped!
It would be like going to a dentist today, and having him use the same drill, without bothering to WASH It, excuse me, STERILIZE IT, from the LAST Patient! Hey! the Constitution doesn’t SAY ANYTHING about that!
But what the heck, I’M JUST A STRICT FUCKING Constitutional Asshole Interpretist!
The Declaration of U.S. Health Care! 1776! The Founding Doctors of America! Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits, and a Mustard Plaster to Improve Your Simple Wits!
How the fuck could they PROMISE YOU HEALTH CARE, back in 1776, when they first wrote the US Constitution, at a time WHEN Health Care DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING EXIST?
IT WAS 1776! They didn’t even know GERMS Existed! If you said “I think disease is caused by little INVISIBLE CRITTERS, crawling ALL OVER, and INSIDE Your BODY”, they would have locked you up in the Looney Bin! Or Burned you at the Stake!
“Doctors” had No FUCKING CLUE what they were doing! It was Total Guesswork, Quackery, and Stab in the Dark Witchery! You would have been better off with a Tribal Witch Doctor from Africa with a Bone in his Nose, or a Gypsy Crystal Ball Reader.
Doctors basically just fucking flipped a coin, and made something up that sounded good! If you went to a Hospital, YOU fucking DIED! And You weren’t much better off at home either! When some early doctors actually started talking about WASHING their hands between Patients, the other doctors just laughed, and said it was foolish Insanity!
Simple Answers, for Simple Conservatives! Sun Goes Around the Flat Earth! Earth Is the Center of the UNIVERSE!
Taking a Bath Causes Illness! Germs Are the Notions of the DEVIL! BURN THE GODLESS WITCH!
Cast Out the Demon Liberal Idea of EQUALITY for ALL! What a Foolish Notion! Everybody Knows We’re NOT ALL EQUAL!
Where’d You Get That Crazy LIBERAL Idea From? Are You Nuts? Equality for ALL? It Will Ruin the Country! And the South! It’s Socialism!
Equality is Only for Rich White Landowners! Next Thing You Know, You’ll Believe That Nutty Liberal Idea That EVERYBODY Has the RIGHT TO VOTE! America Is Doomed, IF EVERYBODY Gets to VOTE! It’s More Socialism!
Besides, We Can’t Afford To Let Everybody Vote! Think of the Cost! Whose Gonna Pay for It?
Democracy Isn’t for EVERY CITIZEN, That’s Another One of Them Half Baked LIBERAL Ideas!
Democracy Is Just for RICH PEOPLE, and GIANT CORPORATIONS!
You’re Just There to Serve Them, and Believe, that One Day, “You’ll Be Rich Too!”
That’s the problem with the Conservatives.
They don’t want to deal with “The Future”.
And when they are forced to deal with The Future, they always want to use the often Outdated “Knowledge”, from the Past.
Or they want to Avoid the Future at all costs, by Hiding in the Past.
Or, they just want to keep EVERY Penny for themselves, and avoid having to pay for anything, including The Future. That way, everything can stay the same, and in their Favor.
Such Selfish Self-Interest! That’s a “Virtue”, isn’t it? And Greed, and lack of Compassion? And Lack of Love of thy neighbor? And Doing unto others, what you Would NOT want done to you? Those are Virtues, aren’t they?
Let’s ask Gamble-holic Bill Bennett, if Conservative Selfishness is a Good Thing, hmmm? He’s another Psychologically Damaged Conservative, who doesn’t walk the talk! Maybe he’s got a Quick Simple Easy Answer, in his big, easy to write, “Book of Virtues”.
That’s the problem with the Conservatives, they want a Brilliant, PERFECT Little Rule Book from the Often Bad, Dumb Old Past, to cover EVERY New Problem that comes down the Pike. That way, they don’t have to Think about how to Deal Fairly, with NEW PROBLEMS that crop up. Problems that keep coming at us, as “Our Future”, turns into “Our Present”.
Shoot me now! Before another psychologically damaged conservative comes along, and Infects me with Outdated REPUBLICAN CONSERVATIVE-itis, and causes me to need a good Bleeding, to let out the Bad Vapors! Whaddya think, will a Cup, or a Bowl, do?
Whoa! I’m getting just a mite bit Dizzy here! What’s all that red shit on the floor?
FA-THUUMMPP! CRASHH! Whirl, wizzle, wizzle! Pwink!
“I say, Old Chap, methinks I done bled him, a skooch too much!”
“Oh Blast! Who’s going to pay for all this bloody mess?”
Signed,
Faint Bernard!
Deader than a Dead Constitution! Do Ya think we can “Rebuild” it?
Old Bernardy! Zee Great Joke Meister!
I Vill haff dem Laffink, in der Sterreets!
Rollink down der Boulevards!
Vatch out! Here Komenzee da nu Yolk Meister!
I Vill Kraack, You UP! You little Girly Man!
We Vill PUMP Up that little Girly Penis you have!
Und Lick your Delicious little Clitoris!
* * *
Gee Mom! Do ya think they’ll let me into the Poetry Club?
No dear!
Why not? Eeeee EEEE CUMINGS “got in”, didn’t he?
He went “all the way” into the Poetry Club, didn’t he?
Yes dear, but he actually wrote Poems, not this Sexual shit you are writing!
You gotta write more emotional High Class Shit.
Something that will actually Touch Peoples Hearts,
And not just their Dirty Disgusting Diseased Sex Parts!
You gotta write about leaves, and sunsets, and how getting divorced is like drowning your Cat. And life is like a golden autumn sunset, on crunchy snowy ground, thru the whispering trees. Stuff like that.
Oh.
* * *
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights Reserved.
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
* * *
Getting the Republican Dicks Straight!
Does that Boy think them damn jokes is FUNNY?
Don’t you know it was the Democrats that blew up the Twin Towers, and melted down the Global Economy?
Get yer Republican Story Straight!
Don’t You go fuckin’ with MY Right wing Head!
I KNOW What REALLY Happened!
The Blonde Floozies on POX NoNoozOoze, TOLD ME, while I was watching them, and MASTURBATING!
Question: What is more Disturbing? Masturbating during POX Nooz, or watching the show itself?
Compare and contrast, discuss amongst yourselves!
SPLUURRT! SPLOORP! Blorp! [Toe curls, arched back, Crazy Contorted Monkey Faces!]
Oh, Yeah, Baby! Tell me how BAD them Demoncrats are! Now SPANK ME! Stare into the Camera, You blonde POX Floozy, and give my Bad Democratic Penis a BIG KISS!
Wait a second! Let me wipe my dripping Come, sliding down the TV Screen, off of your luscious red penis sucking lips, and let me get that little sticky glob, right there on your blond TV Anchor nose! (Smoochee, scree scree, Woochee, mudgee Smudge, there!)
Hey, if God didn’t want blond TV News Anchor Babes to Suck on Thick Penises, HE wouldn’t of given them thick pouty PENIS SUCKING LIPS!
What do you think a big Black dick Microphone is FOR? HUH, BITCH? Get Back To SUCKING! SERVE your PENIS NEWS MASTER! Your TV Studio Microphone, is your LORD and BASTARD MASTER!
You look SO pretty and slutty, my POX “News” Babe, in your “Boost-Tee-Yeah”! Your Momma would Be SO PROUD! Just think! You’re a Whore, for the Corporate World, and on TV!
Wow! A girl can’t go much further than that, can she? You’re On TOP of the Corporate Penis World! Hey, Ma, look at me! I’m on Top of the Corporate Cock, Riding the Cash hard, Diamond Rock!
I’m getting Top Dollar for my Pretty Pussy Face ! Free Market Economics at its BEST! I think I’ll change my name to Brittany Humes, the better to eat you with, my dear, I’m a Little red riding Clitoral Hood!
Where’s my Shure MicroBone Vibrator, with the Pop filter? Hmmm, Fresh Batteries!
Let’s fire this sucker up! ZERRR-rheeeeee! Zizz, Zizz, ZEEEEEEEE! ZEE-YOWW!
Zeeeorr ZERB, ZERB, ZERB! (Oh Yeah!) ZEERRBB, SNNORP! (Ouch!) SNNUUBBBUB! (Better!) WUBBLE WUBBLE WUBBLE! (Oh BABY, that’s the SPOT!) WUBBAH BUBBA, BLERBLE WERBLE BLUBBAH!
[Sound of a gushing, natural orgasmic, vaginal lubricant. Kind of like Flushing water, flowing down a Water Slide, at a Theme Park Ride, and Pooling into an Anchor chair Puddle. ]
(GISH!) Oh! (GUUUSH!) OHHH! (GOOOSSSHHH!) Oh God, I’m a Gushing Vaginal WATERFALL OF LOVE, FOR MONEY!
Spitzzz ZAAAPPP! OUCH! I’m getting an ElecTrick SCHLOCK SH-SH-SHOCK!
God! That Felt GOOD! Well, at least Temporarily! I’m Still a GOOD GIRL, I think, even if I “work it” for POX Nooz!
Whatever they tell you to “Put in your Little Virgin Mouth”, whether it’s a stiff hard microphone, or a bullet head talking point, and they ask you to “chew on it”, “spit it out”, “Swallow it ”, or “mull” it over, you’ll do it, like the good little slutty anchor “News” girl you’ve become!
Just focus on the Money you’re getting, and the “Exposure”, and then the memories won’t be so BAD! PRETEND you’re “Not in the Room” (you’re not in a fake newsroom) like Rape Victims do! Then the Mental Pain, won’t be SO BAD!
Hey Blondi Anchor Girl, can you spell the word, “Shill”?
How about, “Public Relations Prostitute”?
“Corporate Escort Service”?
“Corporate Lap Dancer”?
Or would just plain “Ambitious Whore”, I wanna be on TV at any Cost, work for you?
[Cut to Commercial Break, Voiceover.]
“Get POX Ooze, for all your Conservative Chancre Sores! It covers up your STD - - your awkward Social Traditional Disease - - in a jiffy!”
“WARNING! Traditional Heritage Virus, Type 1692, The Salem Witch Doctor and Liberal Vaccine Trial Version, is still Highly Contagious, even without noticeable Market Bubble Blisters, or the usual foaming at the right side of the mouth!”
[Exterior, Salem Village Street, showing Ye Olde/Young POX “news” anchor girl, being happily released from wooden punishment stocks, while dancing, smiling, and swirling around with scarfs.]
“Now you can go back to being yourself, without really worrying about who you really are!”
[Patriotic theme music, American flags waving, and in background, an uptight conservative chick getting humped in a white, flower latticed Gazebo, while really, really drunk. She’s wearing a white flower frosted wedding cake dress, that looks like gay guys with “Frosting squeezers” spent ALL DAY on, and sitting next to a Year’s free supply of “American Hump”, the conservative Vaginal Lubricant, courtesy of the American Game Show, “Who’s Your Daddy?” ]
[Back to POX “newscast”.]
“Tonight’s Top Story! The Ayn Rand John Birch Society says, Universal Health Care for all U.S. citizens, is a sign of American Weakness, just like Fluoridated Drinking Water was, and is a Modern Menace, and a Dangerous Pollutant, of Our Daily Precious Bodily Fluids!”
“National Health Care for all U.S. citizens, means a Breakdown in the ‘Patriotic American Flag Fabric of Our Freedom Culture, and the Disintegration of Our Rugged Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, Coonskin Cap, American Pioneer, Frontier Individualism’, and the onset of ‘Creeping Sissy Boy, Northern European Homosexual, Man Purse, Kiss My Boo-Boo Make It Better, Wear You Mommy’s Panties Socialism’, as well as an ‘Unwillingness to Perform your Patriotic Duty to Die for Your Country, When You get Sick’!”
“POX No Nooz Ooze! THE TRUTH, as close as we’re gonna let you get to it!”
“Goodnite, Chet! Goodnite, Bruce(th) (You Silly Savage Lispy Boy)!”
“Good Nite, Brittany Humes!
“Courage! You little Fact Fuckers, Courage! A Nervous Breakdown is just a few seasons away.”
“All we gotta do is collect a few more paychecks, and then Maybe, we can still wash it all away!”
Just like Rape Victims do. Try and wash it all away. Try to get Clean again.
Rub-a-dub-dub! A whole bunch of “News” anchors, all Dirty, in a nice clean Tub.
Can you really get your Soul, clean again? Or does the Come Stain, the Memory of the Sin, stay and never go away?
Story at eleven. Or maybe at the stroke of midnite. Or maybe, till the last minute of your Life.
Stay Tuned. Update, at High Noon.
Then, maybe then, you might have a Moment of Truth.
* * *
[Boy on Street.]
“Extry! Extra! Read all about it! ‘News’ SOLD Here!”
“Get your ‘news’! Fresh from the ‘Press’! Freshly Made News! Hot off the press!”
“Whatever you wanna hear, we got it!”
“America, greatest country in the world, but not for long, if the corporations and Republican senators, have anything to say about it!”
“Next! Top Story! Rural Conservative Blue Collar People easily fooled by Rich Republican Corporations! Just wave the American Flag in front of their face, tell them Liberals will take away their Guns, and they are easily Blinded to Everything Else! Offer a free shotgun shell, in exchange for their Vote, or a Bible with HomoPhobe Hate lines highlighted in Yellow! Or a Free anti-Gay Wolf Bane Garlic Necklace, with Jesus Cross!”
“Tonite’s Final Top Story! Rich Republican Party Promises to Help the Average U.S. Citizen! Truly a Miracle from JESUS! GOP Promises Extra Ladle of Gruel, for every dinner pot! And Special Invisible “No Big Government Cheese” Sauce, on New Republican Meltdown Sandwich!”
“But Wage Increase Definitely Out of the Question for Common Man, wouldn’t be Prudent, for Corporate Bottom Line!”
“Not gonna do It! Wouldn’t Be Prudent! Besides, You Poor Americans are too Fat as it is, already! Now‘s a Good Time to Lose that Weight! Recession is a Good Thing!”
“Just tighten your Belt, and be a Good American! Just the way the Rich do!”
* * *
The Corporate “Bottom Line”!
Question: What is the “Corporate Bottom Line”?
Answer: It’s that Ass Crack, that sits on your face.
And tells you to do more with less, everyday.
It kinda has a brown and fudgey Taste.
It’s your “free Market” Reward, for being a good Sheep like citizen.
Now open wide! Here comes the latest Republican Party Poop!
More shit, from the Rich! Nice and brown and fudgey! Hmm, Yummy!
You’ll get used to it! When you’re Not Rich, there’s not much you can do! You usually just have to Suck it up, and Eat it, you Jarhead! You’re a Citizen Marine! Down in the dirt, and give me five! Now, suck my Rich Dick! Aaah, much better!
As the Rich like to say, in their Snooty, Nose in the Air Fashion, “Shit is an Acquired Taste!”
Yep! The Rich are gonna help the Poor, the Working class, and the Middle class get a Fair Shake! Everybody that Isn’t THEM! Now THAT, you can call RICH!
Holy Shit! Robin Hood just FLEW by the Castle Window, with Merlin, the Free Market Magician, on a winged Unicorn Horse! And that English Kid, Harry Potter, was with them, and that Fumble Dwarf dude!
The only “Fair Shake” the Rich are gonna give to the People Beneath Them, is a Fair Shake of their Dick, after they’ve Finished Pissing on the Little People!
There (Shake, shake)! You get the Last Two Drops! Aren’t you Lucky! You guys just Scramble around down there, show us some Initiative, and lick up the Scraps! And maybe we’ll let you come up here, and Piss on People Too!
Oh Marie! Marie Antoinette! Can I have a piece of Cake? I would just LOVE to have a small piece of rich cake, right about now! You got any vanilla? Chocolate will also do! With some of those itty bitty, Republican Sprinkles on Top!
Hmm, that tastes just fine and dandy! Rich, creamy, brown and Fudgey, Corporate Bottom Line Cake! Yum, yum!
This must be Specially made just for Ordinary Citizens! It’s not that super sugary, extra Thick, Upper Crusty, Corporate Cake, for the Super “Uber Rich”, that Live above Us All!
It does help if you lower your Middle Class Expectations a bit. Like lower yourself to your Knees, and then Tilt your head UP! And Open Wide!
The greater the Expectation, the harder the fall.
Here it comes! Your Ladle of shit from the Rich!
Ker-Plop!
Chew! Chew! Yum, Yummy!
Now, wash that down, with some Upper Class “Crystal Clear, Champagne Colored” PISS!
Pissssssssssssssssssssssss! Shake! Bloop! Shake! Bloop! Oh, what a nice and Generous, truly Venomous, Rich Satanic SNAKE you are!
I say, old Chap! A wee bit of Steamy, pissyshit, Wet Weather we’re having down here, aren’t we now, in Our Merry Old, New Class Solidified, NEW AMERICAN Colony?
What is this? Something about this tastes really familiar! Where have I tasted this Before? Ya know, it’s really not too bad!
You know, you could get used to it, if you chopped off your balls, and ate them too! And if you Ate it all, while on your knees, in a Subservient Position, to best allow the rich to take ADVANTAGE of you!
And if you pretend you’re not in the room, while they RAPE you!
Ahh! Now I remember, the CAKE of the KINGS!
YES, My LORD, and CORPORATE TASK MASTER!
I am Your Humble, and Lowly, Citizen SERVANT!
RAPE ME, IF YOU WISH!
FOR I JUST LOVE,
LICKING THE BALLS,
OF THE CORPORATE RICH!
OH MY! WHAT A BIG “BOTTOM LINE” ASS CRACK YOU HAVE!
AND SUCH A MIGHTY BIG CORPORATE DICK!
Now, is that poetry, or what?
Signed,
Faint of Arc Bernard
Burning at the Loins,
of His Stiff Penis STAKE!
And the Corporate Walls,
Came Tumbling DOWN!
And the People Were Freed,
At Last!
From the Greedy Clutches,
of the Profit KINGS!
And Freedom to America,
was Once again Restored,
For another brief repast!
And so endeth the Fairy Tale,
of the Tale of Bernard Faint Frank.
Copyright © 2010, by Bernard Drums! All rights Reserved!
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
Y’all Komenzee back Now,
the Corporate Ovens,
are Burnin’ Bright tonite!
“Ve Vill CONSUME DER PEEPLE, Und send dem UP, up and away, in a beautiful Balloon, in a Cloud Of SCHMOKE, MIT OUR MOST EFFICIENT, FINAL PROFIT SOLUTION to the Screwish the Consumer Question!
Jawohl, my Corporate GOP Profit Leader! The Right Wing Conservative Signal, is Turned on High, To Maximum Profit, My Furious Prophet Leader!”
“Throw dee SWITCH, UND FRY DER PEEPLE! Give Me Maximum Retail, or Give Me Death!”
And all across America, the lights dimmed, and went out, in Georgia.
And the next day the Headline said, “John Doe, Is Dead”.
“John Doe, aka John Q. Citizen, expired at Midnite, Corporate time, at the Hands of the Corporate, Conservative, Republican, Religious State.
The next day, the Maximum Leader proclaimed, “One Size, Fits All.”
“You will be allowed to live, as long as you make your Minimum Payment.”
That’s Fair, don’t you think?
* * *
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