TV Newsreporter to Little Girl in Ghetto: "What do you think of our new President?"
Little Girl in Ghetto: "I like him. He's going to Make Everything Perfect."
Fade Out, on the "Repubicans", as they leave the Stage...
Fade in, on painful Reality,
and the Mess the "Repubican" philosophy has made...
Hold Frame, as the Struggle Unfolds, to Fix the Destruction,
the Repubicans left on our Country, and our Age...
Do not Hail the Failed "Repubican" Philosophy!
Get ready, fix the pain, turn a new Page,
Open your Heart, your eyes, and your Mind,
Feel the People's Rage, and Begin a New Day!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The Bottom rail is on top this time!
Shoe on the other foot now!
Today the Little People take back the Nation, from the Corporate Masters, of the Plantation!
Copyright 2008 by Bernard Drums! All rights reserved, including the right to See the Unfairness, and Corruption, of the Rich. Yes, it is Class War. It always has been, and it always will.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Election 2008: The Redneck, Blue Collar, Dumb White Lament. Also Applies to the Unaware, and the Unhurt.
"AAAhhhhhhh! I can't vote for the Monkey Man for Prezzydent! No way! No how!"
"I've been trained all my Life to Hate the Monkey Man! I ain't prejudiced, but there's no way I can Vote for the Monkey Man!"
"Hell, my property values will go down!"
(pssst! whisperwhisperwhisper!)
"Whuh? They already have?"
"Oh...Who did that?"
(whisper WallStreet whisper Republicans whisper NoRules)
"Well, he don't have No Experience! It ain't that he's a Monkey Man, he just don't got no Experience!"
"Besides, the Republicans have a whole lot more experience in Running Things! We've had 8 years of the Republicans running things, and if that Monkey Man gets in, he'll just mess things up!"
"The Republicans know whut ther doin'! I'm gonna make the Safe Choice, and Vote for McCain, because I want more of the same as we gots now! Yassuh, them demo-crats will just make things worser than they is now!"
Copyright 2008 by Bernard Drums. All rights reserved, incloodin ma right to be preejewdoosed.
"I've been trained all my Life to Hate the Monkey Man! I ain't prejudiced, but there's no way I can Vote for the Monkey Man!"
"Hell, my property values will go down!"
(pssst! whisperwhisperwhisper!)
"Whuh? They already have?"
"Oh...Who did that?"
(whisper WallStreet whisper Republicans whisper NoRules)
"Well, he don't have No Experience! It ain't that he's a Monkey Man, he just don't got no Experience!"
"Besides, the Republicans have a whole lot more experience in Running Things! We've had 8 years of the Republicans running things, and if that Monkey Man gets in, he'll just mess things up!"
"The Republicans know whut ther doin'! I'm gonna make the Safe Choice, and Vote for McCain, because I want more of the same as we gots now! Yassuh, them demo-crats will just make things worser than they is now!"
Copyright 2008 by Bernard Drums. All rights reserved, incloodin ma right to be preejewdoosed.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Top Reasons Republicans Will Use to Convince Whites Not to Vote for Obama
1. Your kids will be forced to sell crack at the school bus stop.
2. Scary black men will invade your home and hump your wife, forcing you to watch. Later, your wife will divorce you, saying "Once you go black, you never go back."
3. Barack Obama will inseminate (screw) your daughter, forcing you to raise a Black Love Child, who will grow up wanting to be a rapper.
4. All your kids, your wife, and your grandparents, will begin wearing sideways baseball hats.
5. You will begin to find dreadlocks attractive.
6. Your rabbi, or preacher, will wear a wall clock, instead of a cross, or star.
7. The entire country will forget how to tie their shoes in rebellion against the white man, and trip-and-fall insurance claims will skyrocket, bankrupting the financial system.
8. While reading in bed at nite,your horny wife will say to you, "What's zup?". You will reply, "Word up!"
9. Rap "music" will replace Muzak in elevators across the nation, causing everyone in the elevator to "booty dance".
10. Potato chips, soda pop, and candy will become the "new nutrition" at all 3 family meals and school lunches.
11. All verbs, except the verb "be", will disappear, and Ebonics will be changed to "Be-onics".
12. Ebonics will become the official language of America, including Mexico, Canada, and China.
13. English grammar teachers will commit suicide in record numbers.
14. People will no longer be allowed to use the letter "s" to distinguish between one cent or fifty cent. Mass confusion will result, causing banks to fail.
15. All white males will be forced to stand on the corner one hour per day, holding their cock with one hand, and a juice box in the other.
16. All white males, especially Asians, will be made to feel inferior, when told the size of Barack Obama's penis. Asians and whites will immediately buy the largest car they can find, to compensate.
17. Booty dancing will replace square dancing in school gym classes.
18. The White House will be "redecorated" with gang grafitti.
19. The First Lady will dye half her hair creamy blonde, and the other half bright strawberry red, and wear tight pants that say "Juicy" across her butt.
20. The President will deliver all speeches with one hand on the podium, and the other on his cock.
21. The traditional Secret Service code name, "Potus", for "President of the United States", will be changed to "Rufus", for "Robber, unreliable, fornicating, unskilled slave".
22. All tough questions at Presidential press conferences will be answered by soft shoe tap dancing.
23. The song "Hail to the Chief", will be changed to Al Jolson's "Mammy", or, the jazz tune, "Watermelon Man", by Clark Terry.
24. The one token white Cabinet member will be forced to wear "black face" makeup, and play a banjo at cabinet meetings.
25. Easy questions at press conferences will be answered by rap "poems", and a bass drum.
26. The White House sign behind the President during speeches will be changed to "Uncle Tom's Cabin".
27. The Presidential Seal will be changed to an Oreo Cookie.
28. The President's title will be changed to "Plantation Master", and tne vice prez to "Master Overseer".
29. The "N-word" will officially become the "N-word". People in the future will not know what the n-word stands for, and only rappers will know.
30. Desert at presidential dinners will be Oreos, and only Oreos.
31. All White House i.d. cards worn around the neck will get tiny gold chain license plate frames, symbolizing the black man's former existence as a "chained people".
32. Ye Olde "House" Gift Shoppe, will begin selling crack, condoms, and prison fashions, with "Property of Da House" printed on them, and a prominent "Obama" label.
33. The title of First Lady will be changed to "First Bitch", "First Slave Bitch Ho", or just, "First Ho".
34. The president will be announced as "YO, Word up! Here be da Prez-dent!"
35. White Secret Service agents will be forced to run behind the President's limo, and sing "I've been workin' on dee chain gang". Black agents will ride on the bumper, and play banjo.
36. Condoleeza Rice will be fired, and replaced by a black chick with a bigger and better ass.
37. The Black Music Industry will air a spinoff of "American Idol", called "The Biggest Ass in America Contest". No singing will be required. The "band" will be a Yamaha Drum Machine, and a guy on a "scritchy-scratchy" turntable.
38. The President will ban psychological torture of prisoners of war, and the Army will no longer be allowed to yell "Your Mama!" at Muslim terrorists. However, if a Muslim terrorist insults a Christian or Jew by calling him an "Unbeliever", the terrorist will be forced to listen to rap "music" 24 hours a day. The Swiss Red Cross protested that this would be cruel and inhumane treatment.
39. Presidential misstatements, backpedaling, or spinning, will be accompanied by a turn-tabler going "scritchy-scratchy, scritchy-scratchy", backing the presidential "record" up or down as necessary.
40.The White House Guard Hut will become a drive-thru burger window called, "McWhiteys".
41. The White House Honor Guard will stop using cannons and rifles, and switch to boomboxes and drum machines. The 21 gun salute will become the 21 Boom Salute.
42. White House Guards will be replaced with Jamaican reggae dudes in giant puffy purple hats, and dreadlocks made of gold spray-painted mops. When the First Lady passes by, they will salute her, and sing "I don't want to wait in vain for your love", by Bob Marley.
43. When people wonder why Barack Obama's wife looks so familiar, it's because she's that bitchy wife on the "Cosby Show".
44. The presidents limo will be heard a mile away during parades, going "Boom-boom-boom", and bouncing up and down on electric Low Rider shock absorbers. It will vibrate so hard from the sub-woofers it will briefly disappear during each bass drum beat. Women inside the limo will stagger out afterwards and say "Wow! That was better than my vibrator! and, "That was the first time I've had multiple orgasms!" (Mainly, uptight white chicks will say this...) The limo license plate will say, "Oh!Boom!Ahh!"
45. The White House "house" band will be fired, and replaced with a Yamaha Drum Machine to lower record company production costs, and a homeless wino spouting rap "poetry" thru a karaoke microphone will become the new White House Label "Artist".
46. The Marine Corps Band will throw out its instruments, and play only bass drums. The band will learn only one song, "The Boom Boom March", by P.Funk Souza, a.k.a. "Souza".
47. Instead of Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa, Christmas and Hanukah will be banned, and replaced with "Kwanhanamas".
48. The "Black Love Child" that John McCain had in the 2000 South Carolina Republican Primary, will show up on your doorstep, claiming you are the father, or mother.
49. Rich poolside Republicans, and dumb white crackers working outside, will tan themselves so much, they will become Negroes.
50. The Confederate Flag will be banned in the South, because it reminds people of the Horrible Chains of Black Slavery, and is in Bad Taste. However, the wearing of large gold and silver neck chains by black men will be encouraged, because it reminds people to be Slaves to Fashion, and have Bad Taste.
Signed,
Faint Bernard
Copyright 2008 by Bernard Drums! All right reserved, incuding the right to be a stick out hair boo-boo bear!
2. Scary black men will invade your home and hump your wife, forcing you to watch. Later, your wife will divorce you, saying "Once you go black, you never go back."
3. Barack Obama will inseminate (screw) your daughter, forcing you to raise a Black Love Child, who will grow up wanting to be a rapper.
4. All your kids, your wife, and your grandparents, will begin wearing sideways baseball hats.
5. You will begin to find dreadlocks attractive.
6. Your rabbi, or preacher, will wear a wall clock, instead of a cross, or star.
7. The entire country will forget how to tie their shoes in rebellion against the white man, and trip-and-fall insurance claims will skyrocket, bankrupting the financial system.
8. While reading in bed at nite,your horny wife will say to you, "What's zup?". You will reply, "Word up!"
9. Rap "music" will replace Muzak in elevators across the nation, causing everyone in the elevator to "booty dance".
10. Potato chips, soda pop, and candy will become the "new nutrition" at all 3 family meals and school lunches.
11. All verbs, except the verb "be", will disappear, and Ebonics will be changed to "Be-onics".
12. Ebonics will become the official language of America, including Mexico, Canada, and China.
13. English grammar teachers will commit suicide in record numbers.
14. People will no longer be allowed to use the letter "s" to distinguish between one cent or fifty cent. Mass confusion will result, causing banks to fail.
15. All white males will be forced to stand on the corner one hour per day, holding their cock with one hand, and a juice box in the other.
16. All white males, especially Asians, will be made to feel inferior, when told the size of Barack Obama's penis. Asians and whites will immediately buy the largest car they can find, to compensate.
17. Booty dancing will replace square dancing in school gym classes.
18. The White House will be "redecorated" with gang grafitti.
19. The First Lady will dye half her hair creamy blonde, and the other half bright strawberry red, and wear tight pants that say "Juicy" across her butt.
20. The President will deliver all speeches with one hand on the podium, and the other on his cock.
21. The traditional Secret Service code name, "Potus", for "President of the United States", will be changed to "Rufus", for "Robber, unreliable, fornicating, unskilled slave".
22. All tough questions at Presidential press conferences will be answered by soft shoe tap dancing.
23. The song "Hail to the Chief", will be changed to Al Jolson's "Mammy", or, the jazz tune, "Watermelon Man", by Clark Terry.
24. The one token white Cabinet member will be forced to wear "black face" makeup, and play a banjo at cabinet meetings.
25. Easy questions at press conferences will be answered by rap "poems", and a bass drum.
26. The White House sign behind the President during speeches will be changed to "Uncle Tom's Cabin".
27. The Presidential Seal will be changed to an Oreo Cookie.
28. The President's title will be changed to "Plantation Master", and tne vice prez to "Master Overseer".
29. The "N-word" will officially become the "N-word". People in the future will not know what the n-word stands for, and only rappers will know.
30. Desert at presidential dinners will be Oreos, and only Oreos.
31. All White House i.d. cards worn around the neck will get tiny gold chain license plate frames, symbolizing the black man's former existence as a "chained people".
32. Ye Olde "House" Gift Shoppe, will begin selling crack, condoms, and prison fashions, with "Property of Da House" printed on them, and a prominent "Obama" label.
33. The title of First Lady will be changed to "First Bitch", "First Slave Bitch Ho", or just, "First Ho".
34. The president will be announced as "YO, Word up! Here be da Prez-dent!"
35. White Secret Service agents will be forced to run behind the President's limo, and sing "I've been workin' on dee chain gang". Black agents will ride on the bumper, and play banjo.
36. Condoleeza Rice will be fired, and replaced by a black chick with a bigger and better ass.
37. The Black Music Industry will air a spinoff of "American Idol", called "The Biggest Ass in America Contest". No singing will be required. The "band" will be a Yamaha Drum Machine, and a guy on a "scritchy-scratchy" turntable.
38. The President will ban psychological torture of prisoners of war, and the Army will no longer be allowed to yell "Your Mama!" at Muslim terrorists. However, if a Muslim terrorist insults a Christian or Jew by calling him an "Unbeliever", the terrorist will be forced to listen to rap "music" 24 hours a day. The Swiss Red Cross protested that this would be cruel and inhumane treatment.
39. Presidential misstatements, backpedaling, or spinning, will be accompanied by a turn-tabler going "scritchy-scratchy, scritchy-scratchy", backing the presidential "record" up or down as necessary.
40.The White House Guard Hut will become a drive-thru burger window called, "McWhiteys".
41. The White House Honor Guard will stop using cannons and rifles, and switch to boomboxes and drum machines. The 21 gun salute will become the 21 Boom Salute.
42. White House Guards will be replaced with Jamaican reggae dudes in giant puffy purple hats, and dreadlocks made of gold spray-painted mops. When the First Lady passes by, they will salute her, and sing "I don't want to wait in vain for your love", by Bob Marley.
43. When people wonder why Barack Obama's wife looks so familiar, it's because she's that bitchy wife on the "Cosby Show".
44. The presidents limo will be heard a mile away during parades, going "Boom-boom-boom", and bouncing up and down on electric Low Rider shock absorbers. It will vibrate so hard from the sub-woofers it will briefly disappear during each bass drum beat. Women inside the limo will stagger out afterwards and say "Wow! That was better than my vibrator! and, "That was the first time I've had multiple orgasms!" (Mainly, uptight white chicks will say this...) The limo license plate will say, "Oh!Boom!Ahh!"
45. The White House "house" band will be fired, and replaced with a Yamaha Drum Machine to lower record company production costs, and a homeless wino spouting rap "poetry" thru a karaoke microphone will become the new White House Label "Artist".
46. The Marine Corps Band will throw out its instruments, and play only bass drums. The band will learn only one song, "The Boom Boom March", by P.Funk Souza, a.k.a. "Souza".
47. Instead of Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa, Christmas and Hanukah will be banned, and replaced with "Kwanhanamas".
48. The "Black Love Child" that John McCain had in the 2000 South Carolina Republican Primary, will show up on your doorstep, claiming you are the father, or mother.
49. Rich poolside Republicans, and dumb white crackers working outside, will tan themselves so much, they will become Negroes.
50. The Confederate Flag will be banned in the South, because it reminds people of the Horrible Chains of Black Slavery, and is in Bad Taste. However, the wearing of large gold and silver neck chains by black men will be encouraged, because it reminds people to be Slaves to Fashion, and have Bad Taste.
Signed,
Faint Bernard
Copyright 2008 by Bernard Drums! All right reserved, incuding the right to be a stick out hair boo-boo bear!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Top 87 New Black Names
See if you can guess which names are male, or female. Male names are usually two syllables, while female names are three. If you don't know what a syllable is, you could be black. Just kidding! Nothing genetic implied here, it could just mean you were oppressed by da "White Man", or Poverty, suffered from a Broken Family, and simply refused to learn the meaning of the word syllable, as you went about "Acting Out" and creating a "Culture of Opposition" to the White Man's Culture.
I mean, if studying hard and getting good grades means "Acting White" (a Bad Thing), isn't it Better to "Act Stupid" in order to reinforce "Black Cultural Values"? I think this comes under the category of "I'll show you, Whitey, watch me while I cut off my nose to spite my face".
1. Velveeta
2. Aqua-netta (true, walmart employee)
3. Aqua-velva
4. Aqua-vulva
5. VO-5
6. Walmarta
7. Aleve
8. Motrin
9. Motrinetta
10. Motrina
11. Toyletta, or Toiletta
12. Tydeebol
13. Hot Pockets
14. Concentrated
15. Lexus
16. Esuvee,or SUV
17. Bentley
18. Chrysler 300
19. Land Rover
20. Futon
21. Nike
22. Afro-sizzle
23. 2XL
24. Largina
25. Right Guard
26. Blu Toof
27. Latoofalina
28. Latoofa
29. Latoofaleesha
30. Whazzup
31. Quiche
32. Keesha
33. Quiche Lorraine
34. Fryz
35. Mofryz
36. Fryswidat
37. Bling
38. Blingtoofa
39. Fryswideesha
40. Aqua-cola
41. Thunderpop
42. Aqua-bling
43. Jolt
44. Pennzoil
45. Febreeze-sha
46. Sevenup
47. Air-fresheena
48. Pennzolina
49. KY
50. Lubrikaysha
51. Napeesha
52. Naprell
53. Viagra
54. Kaopectate
55. Camry
56. Toyota
57. Rogaine
58. Aqua-fresh
59. Elantra
60. Rolex
61. Accutaine
62. Acura
63. Hyundai
64. Exxon
65. Propecia
66. Quinterence (true, local tv news story)
67. Quanterious (also true, local tv news story. It has a nice Roman ring to it, as in, "Emperor Quanterious, we must find Cleopatra, and conquer Egypt!)
68. Ke-kwan-ah (true, walmart employee, rhymes with iguana)
69. Propane
70. Polyvinyl
72. Nylon
73. Titanium
74. I-ron (Man)
75. Di-oxide
76. Lycra
77. Spandex
78. Internetta
79. Prozac (also works as a sports steroid)
80. Mojo-hammad (the 72 Virgin Thing)
81. Kay-eff-see (KFC)
82. Absorbine Junior
83. Panasonic
84. Sputnik
85. Bigmacmoud
86. Hojolina
87. B K Wrapper
If you're not sure a "new black name" sounds authentic, test it out in a sentence. For example: "Revlon, get your black ass in here dis minute!" Or, "Chinet, don't you diss me! I'm your Mutha!" Or, "Vagina! Wutch you mean, it ain't my baby?!"
Faint Bernard
Copyright 2008, by Bernard Drums!. All rights reserved, including the right to be racially intimidated, and to be, as Barack Obama says, "a typical white person". First in a series of "Clever Ebonics", and "I Be Speakin' Good American, as Best as dee White Man Done Teachify Me". How can there be "no typical black person", if there is a "typical white person"? Oh, and by the way, I am voting for Barack. If you don't believe me, you can come into the voting booth with me and pull my lever...if you're a girl(legal age 18 or over)!
I mean, if studying hard and getting good grades means "Acting White" (a Bad Thing), isn't it Better to "Act Stupid" in order to reinforce "Black Cultural Values"? I think this comes under the category of "I'll show you, Whitey, watch me while I cut off my nose to spite my face".
1. Velveeta
2. Aqua-netta (true, walmart employee)
3. Aqua-velva
4. Aqua-vulva
5. VO-5
6. Walmarta
7. Aleve
8. Motrin
9. Motrinetta
10. Motrina
11. Toyletta, or Toiletta
12. Tydeebol
13. Hot Pockets
14. Concentrated
15. Lexus
16. Esuvee,or SUV
17. Bentley
18. Chrysler 300
19. Land Rover
20. Futon
21. Nike
22. Afro-sizzle
23. 2XL
24. Largina
25. Right Guard
26. Blu Toof
27. Latoofalina
28. Latoofa
29. Latoofaleesha
30. Whazzup
31. Quiche
32. Keesha
33. Quiche Lorraine
34. Fryz
35. Mofryz
36. Fryswidat
37. Bling
38. Blingtoofa
39. Fryswideesha
40. Aqua-cola
41. Thunderpop
42. Aqua-bling
43. Jolt
44. Pennzoil
45. Febreeze-sha
46. Sevenup
47. Air-fresheena
48. Pennzolina
49. KY
50. Lubrikaysha
51. Napeesha
52. Naprell
53. Viagra
54. Kaopectate
55. Camry
56. Toyota
57. Rogaine
58. Aqua-fresh
59. Elantra
60. Rolex
61. Accutaine
62. Acura
63. Hyundai
64. Exxon
65. Propecia
66. Quinterence (true, local tv news story)
67. Quanterious (also true, local tv news story. It has a nice Roman ring to it, as in, "Emperor Quanterious, we must find Cleopatra, and conquer Egypt!)
68. Ke-kwan-ah (true, walmart employee, rhymes with iguana)
69. Propane
70. Polyvinyl
72. Nylon
73. Titanium
74. I-ron (Man)
75. Di-oxide
76. Lycra
77. Spandex
78. Internetta
79. Prozac (also works as a sports steroid)
80. Mojo-hammad (the 72 Virgin Thing)
81. Kay-eff-see (KFC)
82. Absorbine Junior
83. Panasonic
84. Sputnik
85. Bigmacmoud
86. Hojolina
87. B K Wrapper
If you're not sure a "new black name" sounds authentic, test it out in a sentence. For example: "Revlon, get your black ass in here dis minute!" Or, "Chinet, don't you diss me! I'm your Mutha!" Or, "Vagina! Wutch you mean, it ain't my baby?!"
Faint Bernard
Copyright 2008, by Bernard Drums!. All rights reserved, including the right to be racially intimidated, and to be, as Barack Obama says, "a typical white person". First in a series of "Clever Ebonics", and "I Be Speakin' Good American, as Best as dee White Man Done Teachify Me". How can there be "no typical black person", if there is a "typical white person"? Oh, and by the way, I am voting for Barack. If you don't believe me, you can come into the voting booth with me and pull my lever...if you're a girl(legal age 18 or over)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)