“Unbelievable! The Confederate Red State Republicans, Run Out the Clock, to Win the Football Game!”
In the Great Halls of Brilliant Republican Power, they have apparently decided their Nu Political Strategy for the years 2008 to 2012, is to Stall, Run out the Clock, and Blame all the Problems on the New Guy!
First, whatever National Problems began during Bush’s term, or grew bigger, or were caused by Bush, or made worse by Bush, or Blew Up during President Bush’s 8 year term, spraying Crap all over everybody, we will NOW put All the Blame on the New Guy, the Black President, the guy who is obviously GUILTY, cuz we All Know the Black Dudes are always Guilty!
Secondly, the Republicans will try to Stop Obama from accomplishing anything at all. This is called “running out the clock” when you are ahead in a football game. You sit on your safe lead in points, or in this case your “obstructionist advantage”, and you only try to prevent the other football team from scoring, but you don’t try any risky point gains for yourself, that might jeopardize your current position.
This is Very Important, because it sets the Stage for the Next Election, when everyone asks, “Are you better off now, then you were four years ago?” And THEN, when Nothing gets done after 4 years, and the Republicans have stopped any Democrat Goals, and the new election has arrived, you can say, “See, he’s Incompetent! I told you a Black Monkey President couldn’t get anything done! Becuz blacks never are good workers!” (This plays very well in Rural Confederate States, that still fly the “bars and stars of Merca”. Place hat over heart, bow head, and murmur, “The Lost Cause shall rise Again!”)
Blame It On Obama!
In short, “We will blame Everything on Obama, because he is the guy, that in Republican Twisted Logic Land, is the guy that “Really Caused all these Problems to begin with!”
Whatever problems “WE”, that is, the Republicans CAUSED, Botched up, made Worse, or Fucked up completely, over the last eight “Bush Lite Years”, IF they aren’t all FIXED by the end of Obamas First Term in Office, WE WILL BLAME IT ALL ON, drum roll please, Obama!
If these Republican Caused Problems (known as RCP), which we NOW know were really all caused by Liberals anyway, if they haven’t been Perfectly Fixed by Obama in 2012, then these problems are ALL, trumpet fanfare, Obama’s FAULT to begin with!
Ad Campaign for 2012! The Bad Monkey Nigger DID It!
I can see the GOP campaign ads for 2010 and 2012 now! “Unemployment at historical highs! Socialist big gubmint takes over Auto companies! Free health care for Niggers! Gubmint Wastes Money on Wall Street Bonuses! Who did it, who caused it all?”
“OBAMA! Not Bush! OBAMA! The Nigger President DID IT!”
“Vote Republican! WE’ll fix it, and make it ALL BETTER! Give us your boo-boo finger cut, and we’ll kiss it, and make it better, you Big Voter Baby! Waaah!”
“We’ll give you Morning in America again! Give you back your Confidence! Make your Dick hard again! Let you spend money like water on Big SUV’s, Credit Cards, and Giant Screen TV’s!”
“We’ll give you Fluffy Pancakes, Oil Wells in your BACK YARD, and free gas and cable TV! You’ll never have to worry about ANYTHING EVER AGAIN! The sun has come up on Tomorrow!
[Little Orphan Annie sings to Daddy Warbucks in high girly voice.]
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Tomorrow is a Brand New Day!”
“All we have to do is GET RID of Government, Deregulate Business Completely, Abolish Taxes, tack a copy of the Constitution on the cabin wall, lock and load the semi-auto, and then let the LAW of the Libertarian Jungle Prevail, where life will be Nasty, Brutish, and Short!
That is, IF you don’t have an AK-47, an armored tank, a walled Compound Fort, night vision glasses, a thousand years of worth of Survival Rations, beef Jerky, soda pop, chips, camouflage hats and shirts, a crossbow, turkey caller, and a can of deer piss to disguise your scent.”
“Are You Better Off Now, than you were 4 years ago? Of course Not! The problems CAUSED by the Republicans were so HUGE, one man couldn’t possibly solve them all in 4 short years! But blame it on the black man’s ASS, and Let Whitey off the hook!”
Whitey Bushman say [as he gets slammed up on hood of cop car] “I is INNOCENT! Dat a Fact! Whutch you lookin’ at me fo? I didn’t Fuck Up No Economy! That Black Prezident did it! It’s ALL Obama’s FAULT!”
(This ad approved by the "White Improvement Society of the American Patriot Freedom Liberty Daughters of Ancient Flat World Traditions", the “Small Town Christian White Citizens of White America”, and the “Jesus Anti-Jewish and Anti-Nigger Christian Rapture Movement of Patriot Freedom America”.
Also heartily endorsed by “The Freedom Patriot, Volunteer Christian, White Fundamentalist, Born Again Republican, No Tax, No Government, Old Time Ancient Thoughts Think Tank, and Militia Libertarian, Survivalist Foundation, for a Better Traditional White Power, American Patriot World”.
Paid for by the recent US Supreme Court Decision, which allows Unlimited Paid Ads from Corporations, and says that “Corporations are now Equal to Real People”, with full citizenship rights, just like you and me! )
Avoid Your Original Responsibility! And Pass It on to the Next Guy!
In the Brilliant Idiocy of the Talk Show Pundidiots, and according to the “Responsibility Avoiding Republican Partyers”, Obama from now on will, get this, “OWN” The Problems!
They’re His! WHY? Because, of course, HE CAUSED THEM, and because the people have a short memory, and the “news” media will Never educate them to the Boring “Ratings Killer” Real Story that the Republicans caused the current problems. That would diminish the “Conflict Factor” that hypes the “news” and causes ratings excitement!
And of course, the mainstream media will not tell a story that goes against the interests of their Rich Republican Corporate Owners, who now control our Roman Senators and Congressmen thru the use of the Lobbyist Puppet Masters, and their Great Puppet Strings of Money, attached to the arms and legs of “our” Senators and Congressmen.
GOP Brand “Easy-Off” Truth Cleanser! Removes Nasty Truth Stains in a Jiffy! And It Leaves the Nigger Prez Twisting in the Wind, Come Election Time!
See how Easy it is to wipe away Truth, with GOP Brand “Truth Removing Scrubbing Bubbles!”
“Obama, once in office, is now Responsible for fixing all the Previously Caused Problems”, easily Morphs into “Obama CAUSED All the Previous Problems!”
Being Responsible for tackling the inherited problems now that he’s in office, changes into “HE CAUSED THEM!” If he can’t fix the Republican caused Problems, the problems are now all Obama’s Fault! It’s Republican NuLogic!
Easy as 1, 2, 3! Doesn’t have to make sense, just has to “Sound” like it makes sense!
Puncho, the Illegal Republican! Hitting Below the Bible Belt, and South of the Border! Ouch, I Blew Off My Little Chihuahua, With a Little Fire Cracker Under My Poncho! The GOP “Cock Bomber”, Rises and Inflates Again, Striking Terror, into the Hearts of Scared, Not Too Bright Voters!
The dirty fighting, illegal Republicans, stand there, clutching their Straw Sombrero Borderline Hats, and say, “Senor, ees Not My Problema! I No Speakee English! I Didn’t Cause all these National Problems! They’re the Black Guy’s Fault!”
“The Black Guy Did It! Not Me! I just blow the Leaves, and cut your Lawn! I didn’t cause the Big Economic Meltdown!”
“I’m just little old Pancho, from South of dee Border! I’m just a Chihuahua! Why you always blame the Mexican Guy? You know, it’s all Obama’s Fault!”
“Geez, Senor, give a poor Republican a Break! I may drink Bush Lite now and then, but I’m no Crazy Bush Tumble Weed! If you want to know who caused all these problems, Senor, pin it on the Black Dude, we all know the Black Guy is always Guilty!”
“Hey Gringo! Pssst! You want to buy some good Lynch Rope? I have some good strong rope in my truck, made especially for black Presidents! I give you a good price! Yes? It’s called ‘Republican Rope a Dope Strategy’, cuz it will fool all the dumb Blue Collar Rednecks, and the suburban Independents!”
How Hard It is to Be a Christian Republican! Holy Jesus, Please Save Me Now, From My Past, Present. and Future Lies! Can I Get in Heaven, If I ReWrite the GOP History Book? Forgive Me Lord, I’m Only Lying, to Serve YOU Better!
Ever notice how the Republicans are always talking about “Taking Responsibility, and Accepting the Consequences of Your Actions?”
Except when the Republican’s are Responsible, and the Republicans are at Fault.
REPEAT THAT!
Except when the Republican’s are Responsible, and the Republicans are at Fault.
Then it becomes “Moral Relativism Time”, something Republicans normally don’t like, except when it conveniently shifts the blame to the “Liberal Responsibility Time Zone”!
Moral relativism time is very similar to “Miller Time”, except, of course, you guessed it, you serve “Don’t Blame the Republican” Beer! Si, Senor!
Open up a cold bottle of “Don’t Blame the GOP” Beer (from Old GOP Southern Mash Distillery, their Southern market co-brand), becuz we don’t want to lose all dee White Votes, now do we?! No Suh! Especially dem dumb white Blue Collar Redneck Votes!
Splurt! Uh, sorry, Missy, I didn’t mean to spit my tobacco juice so close to your virgin white buckskin shoes, and soil your Pure Crystal White Virginity! I’m ah just doing my Southern Gentlemanly Duty, and protectin’ you from that Nigger Prezident, who is tryin’ to Rape you, with his Big Gubmint ManDingo Mandate!
Hoe Down Time! Who Said Ya Gotta Dance With the One That Brung Ya?
And then, after a few shots and bottles of “Don’t Blame GOP” Beer, it’s the “Republican Party, White Nigger, Hoe Down Time” at the Political Prostitute Palace!
[Republican Helmet Hair Politician, speaking into the TV microphone, while being arrested on “Cops”, for “deregoolating” and melting down the economy] : “I didn’t do Nuffin’! Whutch you Arrestin’ me fo? I didn’t cause No Problems! It was Dat Funky Liberal Black Dude that did it! I wasn’t even Near the Scene of the National Problems!” (Sound familiar? It’s the Republican “White Nigger”!)
[GOP dude gets banged onto hood of Cop Car, and yells at Cop] : “You know whut I’m Sayin’? You can axe anybody, I didn’t do a goddamned, motherfuckin’ THING to the Economy! YOU got that, HONKY White Boy!”
“I’m the Nu Republican White Nigger Party! And don’t you ferget it! I’m telling you the NuTruth, you Cream of Halfwitwheat! I wants me a lawyer, or a good public relations man, or a GOP think tank history rewriter!”
“And I done proved my Innocence, with GEOMETRIC NuLogic, that the Missing Financial Strawberries, and the key to the Ice Cream Locker was Never, Ever Out of My Sight! As sure as my name is Captain White Ass Candy Caine, of the U.S.S. Old GOP Yellow Stain! And I Will Brook No Mutiny of Dumb White Voters, on my Republican Party, Party Ship!”
“SO HELP ME, GOD! And right about now, I needs all the help God can gives me, cuz I been a Bad Republican Captain of the Ship!”
“I’ve been a Bad GOP Monkey! I Pooped on the National Economic Carpet! And this ‘Holy Water, Christian Steam Cleaner’, that I rented from Jesus at Jesus Direct.Com, ain’t getting out my Economic Crime Sin Stains, anywheres near the needed Mighty White Quick!”
“Shit…It’s Hard being a Republican White Nigger! Everybody blames everything on Me! Can’t we go back to blamin’ everything on the Other Nigger? That was a lot more FUN!”
“CAN’T YOU SEE? It’s ALL the BLACK GUY’S FAULT! WE DIDN’T DO NUFFIN!”
“IT’S THE NIGGERS FAULT!”
That’s the NuRepublican Strategy! It’s the Niggers Fault!
BLAME THE NIGGER!
THE NIGGER DID IT, NOT ME!
BLAME THE NIGGER!
TRUST ME, IT’S TRUE!
AND…IT’LL WORK!
NIGGER DID IT! NANA, NANA, NA NA! NIGGER DID IT! NIGGER DID IT!
(The following has been APPROVED by the “White Christian, Republican Southern, ‘Blame the Nigger’ Council of Lily White, Pure Christian, Small Town, God Fearin, Humble and Kindly, Jesus Lovin, White Town Folk”. Praise be to Jesus! We all love ya! We really do! It’s just the niggers we don’t like!)
All these Big, white, Powerful Republican Senators, and it all boils down to “Blame the Nigger”! Ain’t America Great!?
Signed,
Captain, no, wait, Rear ADMIRAL Faint Bernard!
And with you Baby, I’ll forever be your doggy style “Rear Admiral”!
Full Cream ahead! I’m coming Now! Any port in a storm, and I’m a Stormin’ Your Port! Open dee Harbor Gates, I’m a comin’ Through! Full Speed ahead, and don’t Damn my Huge, Purple Red, throbbing Torpedo!
(see Humphrey Bogart, in The Caine Mutiny, for responsibility for the financial strawberries in the ice cream locker, and for how he locked himself into his own personal “strawberry fruit loops mental locker”, and see the Union Civil War Admiral Farragut, who said, “Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed Ahead!”, as he steamed, steaming mad, into the virgin Mobile, Alabama harbor, and whupped them Southern Rebel, Secessionist, Redneck Asshole, Red State Traitors!)
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights, starboards, ports, sherries, and Republican port wine stains, are Reserved, recertified, petrified, and mortified, on and into Eternity! So sayeth The Lord, and his Administrative Ass-kiss Assist-dent, Old Faint Bernard!
Toot! Toot! Here come dee Boat!
Oh, No! That’s not a Boat! Dats dee Lock Nest Monster!
Full Speed ahead, on My Head! Damn! My Torpedo is Explodin’ Now!
Splish splash, it’s all over your Creamy, Big, Slippery Ass!
Toot! Toot! Rock dee Boat!
Rock dee boat, BABY!
I’m a Comin’ NOW!
I’m your REAR Admiral!
And you’re my little Sweet Salty Sea Dog!
And Remember! Kiss, but don’t tell!
Becuz you do it SO Well!
And neither one of us, wants you to go to Hell!
Woof! WOOF! WHOOOOO!
GOOD DOGGIE!
* * *
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
Bad Monkey! You’re gonna have to eat an extra Banana, for dessert!
* * *
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The GOP Grinch That Stole Christmas! Night Before Christmas /Thru the House/ Bankers Went Bonkers/ Wall Street Did Blitzing/Leaving Us With Shitzing!
How the Republicans “De-Regoolated” Wall Street, Which Proceeded to Deregulate Your ASS! Oh Lordy! Now My Foot Bone Is Connected to My Ass Bone, In a Painful Example of Economic Linkages! Economic “Feats” Don’t Fail Me Now, Buttwheat! Can We Blame It All On the Republicans? You Bet Your Sore-y Ass We Can!
Hmmm…Let’s see…Let’s add all this up.
Ready? Okay, let’s rewind!
The Republican Economic Meltdown!
Of 2008 and 2009!
Hold your Applause, it’s Not Over Yet!
Here Goes! The GOP Grinch that Stole Your Christmas!
Republicans fire the Business Police,
and let the Wolves guard the Sheep!
Saying the Wolves will work better,
when there’s no rules to keep!
So Wall Street Cops are fast Asleep,
as Mortgage Foreclosures Peak!
These were Mortgages on Steroids,
that Wall Street made sure to “tweak”,
for every last ounce of financial meat!
Even if it meant making women faint,
and strong men weak!
A shitload of Toxic Assets,
kills trust fast!
When you’ve built a House of Financial Cards,
that won’t last!
And when there’s a “run” on the bank,
there’s not enough real money,
to cover everybody’s Ass!
And then Everybody wants their cash back,
but there’s no real Dollar Value,
left to be had!
So Investment Banks Fail,
regular Banks Freak,
and Credit dries up to a tiny little Squeak!
Business slows to a crawl,
without Credit as the Grease,
and Workers are kicked out on the street!
Just as Gas prices peak,
And people realize that SUV in the driveway,
is too thirsty, and expensive, to buy Drinks!
And just then, Food Prices rocket skyward,
in a gasohol subsidized Corn Belt streak!
Stocks take a dive in the drink,
as Layoffs go up,
and Investor Confidence disappears in a wink!
Holy Shit, your Retirement Plan continues to shrink!
Not even Viagra, or a big whiskey drink,
or a girl with a big ass,
could make your shriveled little weeny,
grow hard and pink!
You’re lookin’ at workin’ part-time at Walmart,
and a retirement that stinks!
Autos are on the brink of Bankruptcy,
as new car sales sink,
and “Government Bailout”,
or “Socialism for the Rich”,
is the New “Free Market” Think!
“Help me, help me! I’m Too Big to Fail”,
they all scream and holler!
But on the way up,
the Rich say,
“Cut my taxes, I deserve every dollar!”
Pension funds are in doubt,
as layoffs continue to Sprout,
Will your Pension Fund be there,
when you get Old,
and all your teeth fall out?
Shoppers are Broke or Depressed,
forcing Profits way Down!
All the easy money,
has skeedaddled out of town!
All because the Greedy Republicans,
let the Financial System break down!
And when I look at all the Empty Houses,
I ask the Republicans,
is my Community becoming a Ghost Town?
Soup Kitchens need more Plates,
they’ve run out of Beans and Powdered eggs!
Can’t Poor people eat with Better Taste?
And Gated Communities lock their Gates,
and bar the doors with Ammunition Crates!
Right Wing Christians worry about Gays,
they sit in “Church” with Frowns,
and tightly crossed legs!
They say they love God, and People,
But don’t give a damn,
if the Sick are not healed,
or are financially crippled,
under America’s Health “Care” Steeple!
The Corporations get big tax Breaks,
and use them to ship your jobs away!
And then they say, “We Support Family Values!”
“Just Not your family, and Not today!”
With more Family Values like that,
there won’t be any “American Dream”,
after awhile!
And Native Americans say,
“See, I told you,
you just can’t trust,
the Forked Tongue,
White Man Smile!”
Illegal Aliens cross the Border,
helping the Rich create a “New Economic Order”!
Keeping wages down, and the Poor poorer,
and making the Super Rich, and Corporations,
The Permanent Rulers!
Citizens Vote to send Politicians to the Poke,
while the homes of Hollywood Fornicators,
go up in Smoke!
New Orleans says, “Hey, Motherfucker!”
“What about me?”
And President Bush says, “Hey, y’all!”
“Look at my White House Christmas Tree!”
But the Tree Burns down,
because it has Cheap Chinese Lights,
that are Not Safety Rated,
to Protect Human Rights!
And Bernard Madoff, that bastard son of a bitch,
makes off with all the Gold,
of the Jewish Rich!
A Sum, some say,
that reaches 50 Billion!
So the sunburned Jews of Palm Beach,
are all busted and Sad!
Now they can’t afford to Donate,
A single, new Pavilion!
The Banking Crisis spreads across the Globe,
to Europe, China and Asia!
How far it will go, nobody knows!
Even Iceland,
is in Financial Hot Water,
and may soon foreclose,
on its reindeer, and Snow!
The price of Oil finally drops,
as peak demand stops,
and Arab Oil Sheiks totally freak out!
Is it Too Late for GM,
as they Beg for another Bailout?
The “Demoncrats” take back Control!
Republicans are in a Pout,
their Noses in a Greedy little Piggy Snout!
All that Crap they did Spout,
about a deregulated “Rule-Free” Market,
didn’t quite Pan Out!
And now the People are Pissed!
How come the “No Rules” Market,
didn’t make Everyone Rich?
What a Bitch!
The Nation’s Economy is now stuck,
in a Classic, Speculative, Wall Street Ditch!
And why are you missing,
a painful, Bloody Inch?
Because it was those “No Rules”,
Republican Cock Suckers,
who just bit the tip off,
your Clitoris, or Dick!
Ouch! I hope this Teaches you,
a Painful Financial Lesson!
That you were never really “Up There”,
with the Super Rich!
And your hard earned Cash,
and Life Savings,
can disappear in a Flash,
when you’ve just been Raped, Bitten,
and Trashed,
by those “No Rules”,
“deregulated”,
Cock Sucking,
REPUBLICAN DICKS!
Signed,
Faint Bernard
Protector and Defender of the Holy Virgin Untwisted Pure Cotton Truth!
Inventor of the “Reality-o-meter”, the first Device ever, to actually measure, with a fine tooth comb, the Pureness and Freshness of Truth! With 99.99% accuracy!
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights reserved.
Including the right to look you in the eye and say, “How does it feel to have the Republicans bite off the tip, of your little clitoris sized dick?”
That’ll teach ya to drive down the financial highway of life, without any rules of the road, while getting your dick sucked by a Republican Whore! Bang! Ka-Chomp! AAAHHHHHHH! Where’s the tip of my Dick? It’s being munched on by an Ugly Republican! AAAHHH!
Inside the “Head” of a Republican Voter: “Damn! I think I’ll Vote Republican again, I wanna Experience that Financial Castration Sensation, one more Time!”
(Courtesy of the Republican influenced, and Wall Street controlled, “Financial Castration Speculative Securities Circumcision Commission”, or, FCSSCC, aka, the “Fucking Citizens Safely, Continuously, and Securely Committee”, whose Motto is: “No Regulation Required here! It’s just us Wolves!”. Paid for by Wolfman Brothers Investment Chancres, Bare Sterns, Gold Mine Sacks, Mug ’em and StunThee, and Lay Them Brothers.)
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
* * *
Robbed, Reamed and Raped, by Big, Swinging, Elephant Sized, Wall Street Dicks! Corporate Rape versus Government Rape, Who’s More Efficient and Thorough?
Hey Y’all! Stop on by! Get your cooter all lubed up! Them GOP Dicks are coming again! Bend over easy, it’ll make it feel better next time Around! Just remember to Liberally Apply some more “GOP, Freedom Patriot, Mom Apple Pie, Anal Lube!”
Yeah, that’s right, you stupid little “Independent Voter” Robot, go ahead and vote for the Republicans “promising” to help you get rich quick again thru “tax cuts, deregulation, and getting rid of government”, so everything will be run by those “warm hearted, caring, profit loving (but not people loving) Trustworthy Giant Corporations!”
That’s right! Learn ABSOLUTELY Nothing from this Republican Caused Economic Meltdown, that was caused by Republicans “forcing down our throats” the Republican THEORY of, “Deregulate and privatize EVERYTHING”.
Do you know what “Limited government and Lightly Regulated industry” translates into, Conservative Boy? It’s not the flash card Republican Answer you get from TV’s GOP Shill “Little Georgey Porgy, Slickster Dick, McSwill”!
I’ll tell you what you get! You get a MORE Thorough and COMPLETE fucking at the hands of the Corporate Elite! That’s what you get when you have “no rules, no supervision, and no Business Cops on Wall Street and Business Street”. Got it?
Yes, government may Inefficiently fuck us sometimes! So to SOLVE that problem, Republicans want to SWITCH to A DIFFERENT FUCKER, a Better Fucker, a More Efficient Fucker, and let the Corporations fuck us More Efficiently, and COMPLETELY, ALL The Time, to the very last drop of Corporate Profit Hunger!
Yeah, that’s Brilliant, Einstein! Throw the baby out with the bathwater, and hire a Full time, Corporate Serial Rapist and Child Molester, as the New Head, Nanny, and Nurse Ratchet, of the New Corporate Run Maximum Profit State! Heil Hit Me, My Right Wing GOP Leader! Have we reamed out the Maximum Profit, from the PEOPLE yet? Maybe this manual Auger will do!
Now BEND OVER! I have to line up the Auger JUST RIGHT! I don’t want to miss your ASSHOLE, and lose any profit! There’s got to be more PROFIT up there! Reaming out the people’s Asses has ALWAYS been profitable! Oh look, see, there’s another Shitload now! Milton, grab the Gold lined Shit sack! This is too good to pass up! Here it comes! What a Bonus!
Who’s the Better Rapist? Government? Or Profit Hungry, Amoral, Big Bureaucratic, Corporate Business?
Republicans want to turn an occasional inefficient Government fucking, into a fulltime, totally Efficient, Corporate Fucking. They say “Choose Corporate EFFICIENCY, choose to be raped by a Cold hearted corporation, and make the Rape more efficient, complete, and thorough! AND, you’ll be left with no way to Vote Out the entrenched Corporations, and no way to fix any problems that are sure to crop up!
But YOU think if there is a Problem, you’ll just Stop Buying from the negligent Corporation, and put them out of Business, and the market will correct itself?
Or you’ll use advance information to make Responsible, Libertarian Style “Informed decisions”, and Totally Avoid buying any faulty products or services that might hurt you or your family? And your “informed purchase decisions” will create safety for you, better than an “Unnecessary Big Gubmint Consumer Protection Agency”?
If you believe you can do that, try putting the last remaining TOP 4 Monopoly Style “only game in town” health insurance companies in America out of business! Fat Chance, Libertarian Boy! This last year should cure you of that notion! The top 4 Monopoly Health Insurance companies NOW control Your Senator and Congressman, who dance to the Insurance company’s tune, and not yours!
Just make sure you can always pay your health insurance payment, even when it goes Way Up! And if you don’t have the premium cash, just put a statue of Jesus on your dashboard, and pray real hard you NEVER EVER GET SICK, and Never Lose your job with its health benefits, you stupid fuck!
And just make sure you never buy a defective car, where you are among the first thousand people or so, with the Faulty Gas Pedal, on YOUR Toyota car, that you thought was super safe, based on your “informed purchase Decision”!
And my friend, don’t bother to sue the company when their product kills your kid, or your wife, because you’ll only get a dollar or two as compensation, with Republican “Lawsuit Reform”, which TRANSLATES into LOW Compensation paid out to you for losing your kid, and just a mild slap on the wrist for the Corporation, just a small cost of doing business for killing your kid, and definitely “No Market Incentive” at all for the company to Improve its product.
Oh, but I forgot, YOU’RE gonna “stop buying their Defective Product”, and the Company will just go out of business, like that, in a flash, for killing your kid, punished by the “self-correcting, self regulating market”, punished by all the “bad publicity”, and by all the other people out there who really don’t care, or give a shit, about your stupid little kid dying! (It’s not THEIR kid, so they’re just Fine!)
Yeah, right on, Mr. Magic Market GOLDILOCKS, count on it! You got any other magic THEORIES, up your untrained Economic Ass, Mister Doctor of Economic Theories?
Maybe you could all form a club of “Kids Killed by Corporate Negligence”, and you could all sit around and say how great it is to have “lightly regulated Industry, limited Government, and Tort Reform”, while wearing a bow tie, a tweed jacket and spouting on a Washington Corporate TV Network Talk Show, pretending to be a great historical and economic pundidiot, and speaking in an oh so smooth and polished, erudite and urbane manner.
Ah yes, “Gorged SWILL”, autobiographer of “The Soul of the Corporate, Republican, Cash Hoarding, Conservative Shill”, who I’m sure in a few short years, will never give up HIS “Big Gubmint, Social Security, Medicare, Runaway ENTITLEMENT checks!” No, Suh! Not for one “Socialist, Nanny State, Entitlement Retirement, Give Me Mine Minute!” Yes indeedy, Butt Wheat! Them compassionless “Repugnicants” want every last dollar for themselves, nice and greedy, unfair AND sleezy, all the way to the end!
The “Soulcraft of Screwing the Little People, and Stacking the Deck, All in Favor of the Rich”! Good old, Washed Up, nothing new to say, Gorged Swill, the Pundidiot, will say Anything, in a falsely charming manner, to stay on TV!
Gorged is Grateful that the scaredy cat, corporate cock sucking, bullshit TV producer who is running the Pundidiot Show, is so fearful of a ratings crash, that he still invites Gorged back! Why? Because there is No One Else in America who can do Gorged Swill’s job better! Who else is willing to get up there, week after week, and urbanely lie for a living?
Because of a pundidiot TV show producer with no balls, we, America, get to listen to Gorged Swill continue to spout “flash card” shit, and collect a check until he retires. But we know better, because Gorged Swill is really just coasting, tired, and bored, like Peggy “I’m so bored I can hardly bother to be here” Noonan, on the same old swill, the same old shtick, of Image, flash cards, and glib.
Gorged Swill might as well just stand on top of the bleeding dead body, like the good little public relations “man” he is, with the cloud of gunpowder still wafting over the corpse, and say, in his best, page one, public relations manual routine, “It’s time we put this all behind us, and moved forward!”
It’s time to throw Gorged Swill on the ash heap of sloppy and careless “historical analysis”. Let him go home and play with his baseball cards. He’s really not contributing much to a real debate. He may dress like a college professor, but his output Flunks. If this is the best America can do, we’re Fucked. Tenure Denied! Hand over your bow tie and pipe, and rip of your elbow patch stripes! Buck private for you Gorgey! Go dig a latrine in your back yard, and talk to it! That’s where your shit Shtick belongs.
Oh, and whatever you do, keep Gorged Swill, far, Far Away from Economic Issues, preferably in another Galaxy. A little economic knowledge in this man’s hands is a very dangerous thing. It’s his “never studied weak spot”, no, more like his Blind Zone, and he his definitely NOT QUALIFIED. Even if he had a full time Economic tutor sitting next to him on the show, feeding him talking points, he’d still manage to fuck it up, and get it all wrong.
As soon as he starts talking about ANYTHING Economic, tell him to Shut the fuck UP! Just say, “Now Gorge, you’ve got to Stop!” Got it?
Better yet, just tell him to stay home.
Fort Tort Reform! Turn the Cash Cannons the Other Way! Shoot the Citizen Consumer, With Economic Injustice Grapeshot! Charge It, and Reload With More Bank Fees! Fire, When You See the White’s of Their Middle Class Eyes!
Tort Reform is just another GOP Reframe, a different way to say, “We don’t want a legal Cop on the Beat, in Business World, and we don’t want Justice in Consumer Land!” Why?
Because Lawsuits are an effective “Incentive” to Behave Responsibly! (Republicans are always talking about incentives, but ONLY the ones they like, that will help them get richer quicker, and help them avoid the cost of being responsible! Now you’re catching on! You got it!)
And business men don’t want to deal with Legal Incentives, because they actually work in keeping businessmen acting responsibly, and Business men don’t want to be Responsible for their Actions, because it means they can’t keep every last ounce of profit for themselves! Got it?
So make sure ya got real good “financial insurance”, for the next time you get your financial dick munched off in an Economic Meltdown, “Mister Brilliant Independent Voter, who Doesn’t Know What Side he’s on”!
“Well, I thought I was rich! But now I’m Poor! WHO should I Vote for next time? Who cares about the middle class, and the working class?
What am I NOW? Am I rich, middle class, or working class? Only my credit cards know for sure!
Who Should I Vote for Next time?
Your problem is thinking you’re actually part of the Rich! How many times do the Republicans have to burn you, before you realize you’re NOT part of the RICH?
Independent dickweed (scratching his head): “Well, I had a Bunch of credit cards, and a really big “King of the Road” SUV, and a BIG Mortgage, and a second mortgage for extra cash and stuff! I thought I was Rich, I mean, I felt rich! How rich do you have to be, to Really Be Rich?”
“I mean, I was makin’ my Payments, or at least the Minimum Payments, so, ya know, I guess, it seemed like I was rich! Hey, man, I’m a Smert guy, I had it All Figured Out! I wear a Nascar Blue Collar Dumb Guy baseball hat, and drive a Captain of the Universe SUV! Don’t blame me! Things were, like, ya know, lookin’ real good there, for a while, while the party lasted!”
UNTIL YOU GOT FUCKED BY THE REPUBLICANS! And their THEORY of “No Rules Deregulation”! And just at that Moment, the unregulated Financial Excesses of the Corporate Wall Street Rich came to full FRUIT, and they Ejaculated (shot) their Sticky “Comedown” all over your Stupid, know it all WHITE BOY FACE!
Remember that, Pal, the next time you’re standin’ in the Voting Booth, jacking off with the Republican lever in one hand and your dick in the other, dreaming you’re gonna get rich again, and buy your own little Island!
* * *
That’s www.CultureDrums.Blogspot.com
It’s Payback Time, for All Your Loans!
Think Harder, White boy! Use all the little Brainpower God gave ya, and you might learn something, from this pleasant, economic Meltdown!
Where did you ever get the idea that Rich Republicans are trying to help YOU (and your little dick) get really rich?
YOU, you see, are the Little Guy who just THINKS he’s rich, becuz he’s making all the LOAN payments, but really doesn’t know what REAL rich is.
Real rich is Not Needing, A LOAN! Oh, but once you pay off the loans, then you’ll be rich? Oh, I see! Ding-dong! Hello!
Well, guess what? The Republicans just cut short your Loan Payback Period, oops, I’m sorry, “Your Investment Payback Period”, to NO ABILITY TO PAY IT BACK AT ALL! Hand back the keys, GAME OVER, your Grand Scheme just bit the dust, you never really owned it at all, it was all just ON LOAN, Mr. “Super Rich”!
Did Little Red Riding Hoodlum tell you that Rich Republicans want to actually HELP you, get Rich? Or did Pollyanna? How about the Deregulated Tax Cut Tooth Fairy?
Here’s the lesson: The REAL rich only want to help themselves get richer. You, my little Asshopper, are “in their way”, and you are to be Used to help them get richer, and will be discarded when they no longer need you, or you will simply be fucked in the process from beginning to end! Got it?
Okay, I’m being too hard on you! I’ll pretend for just a moment that your Personal Goal Business Model, that is to say, your “Planned Life and World View Model”, is actually TRUE! (But if you’re a Chick, I’ll probably still want to be Hard on you! Where would you like me to rub my Hard on you?)
Here goes!
“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! And He’s at the North Pole Headquarters of the Republican Fat Cat PARTY, and they want YOU to become a Rigid Member, or Tool, of ‘The Get Rich Quick, No Responsibility to Society Party’! You compassionateless Dickhead!”
Yeah, and you Will be “Richer” for the Experience, after Wall Street, the Banks, and cold hearted, Multi-National CORPORATE “America”, FUCKS You Again, and Again, and AGAIN! Wham, Bam, BAM! Thank you, Ma’am! Was it Good for you? It was for me!
The Global Economic Meltdown Ride! Let’s Do It Again!
How many “Global Economic Meltdowns” rides do you have to go thru, before you CATCH on, that this ain’t no Fun Theme Park?
Or are you one of those Total Republican Assholes, going around spouting that Big Bad Government FORCED poor little old Wall Street, to give loans to people who couldn’t pay them back, and this whole meltdown wouldn’t of happened if Wall Street hadn’t been “FORCED” to give away all those BAD Mortgages?
That’s what they are actually telling people, feeding to their Base Voters! It was Clinton, Fannie Mae, and Barney Frank that FORCED Wall Street to Go Nuts! Rich, cold hearted, Republican Wall Street BUSINESS MEN had NOTHING to do with it! They were FORCED to do it! Kidnapped into it, against their BETTER Judgement! Oh, God, shoot me now, I don’t want to live in a world filled with such fools!
If you believe Wall Street was Kidnapped into giving money away, tell me what kind of pot you’re smoking, because I’d like to try it, if it’s that good!
Arnold “Nazi Boy” Schwarzenfloofer, der Guv-in-nor of der state of Cawlly-fornya, he says Big Bad Gubmint, FORCED poor wittle, soft hearted Wall Street, to Meltdown the Mortgages! That wascally wittle Gubmint wabbit! Forcing Wall Street to Hippety Hop against its will! Bad Wabbit!
Talk about denial, avoiding Blame, and not taking Responsibility for your Actions! These Republicans are acting like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, who then says “What cookie jar”?
GOP Theorist: “Well the Republican THEORY was, we could have our Cookies, and Not Pay Taxes for them, too! I have no idea why Jack Unkemps Supply Side Dickonomics didn’t work as we planned!”
I hear there is lotsa Pot in Cawlly-fiorneeya, so Arnold the Goobernator, must be smoking a lot of it in those Big Cigars he is always smoking! He does kinda look happy around the eyes, or is that the mandatory Hollywood eyelift?
Isn’t it sad? The Republican Party is reduced to lying, to it’s not very bright, Base Voters, to keep them in the fold! If you are a GOP think tank writer (Rewriter, I should say) You Can’t go home and put your little daughter in your lap, and say, “Daddy is an Honest Man! Daddy does Honest Work for a Living! Daddy believes in the Truth and honesty, so help me Jesus!”
That would be breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
And if you can’t Play Fair, why are you playing at all?
Last Wishes, Last Bill and Testacle Mint! Before I Become Infected, and Die From the “GOP Pox”, Also Known As “Venereal Voter’s Disease”, or Simply “The GOP”, as in, “I’ve Got the GOP!”
There are three things I’d like to do before I die: Have sex with a woman and eat her pussy for a long, slow time, make a really good rock n roll CD for posterity, and try some of that weed you Republicans are Smoking!
Oh Lord, take me now, it’s getting way too weird down here with all these Republican, Libertarian, Tea Party, Religious Freaks, all walking around with broomsticks up their butts! I’m not sure I can take it much longer! Please Lord! Pass me some of that “tea” those Tea Party Freaks are smokin!
And whatever you do, don’t throw the “Tea” in the River! I hear that shit has gotten REALLY expensive! In my day, a “Dime Bag” really was ten bucks, and an ounce was fifteen! You could even buy a nickel, for five!
Hey! Maybe that’s why Rich Republicans always want a Tax cut! It’ll bring down the price of the Pot they’re always smoking!
What if I tell my “unaffordable health care” doctor, that listening to Extremist Republicans is like having Cancer, do you think he’ll give me some Medical Marijuana for FREE?
Dude, I’m not crazy! I’m just Innovatin’, thinking’ outside the Box here, getting all Mavericky and Rogue-y! I’m trying to think like a Republican! You know, “gaming the System”, getting my Free tax cut, getting everything a Rich feller is “entitled” to! Don’t wanna leave the little people unstoned, and unburned!
Wow Dude! Do ya think Rich people just get high on burning Money?
I don’t know, Man! But I think those dudes on Wall Street do! I think they actually “melt” the money!
I’ve never tried melting it before! Do ya think you get higher if you Melt the money?
I don’t know, but maybe it turns into Hash, or a spoonful of liquid Cocaine!
Wow dude, I never thought of THAT!
Well, you know what they say, “Money is a Gateway Drug to Evil, and a Gateway Drug to Membership in the Republican Corporate Party!”
Wow dude! I never knew that!
Yep! It’s true! Heil Hit me, My Right Wing GOP Leader! Let’s get High and Mighty Whitey, on White Power Buck Fucks, perpetrated on the little people!
And let’s become totally consumed with Corporate fuel injected cocaine Cash Addiction, and Mighty White Righteous Religious Might, cleansing the world of the Wrong Religions! And let’s have Cash become the New King, the New Messiah, and take over Everything, including our Democracy, and replace it with Corporate Representatives and Legislative Lobbyists, “elected” by Corporate Money approved by the Conservative packed “Cash is Supreme Court”!
And let’s get every man, woman and child in America, hooked on cash, with a severe case of Corporate Cash Addiction, the New Religion, and willing to break into your Symbolic House, and rob you, to get the money for their next, Needle in the Arm, cash FIX!
That’s Mighty White of you, Brother!
Right on!
You da Man!
You go girl!
The White Man Is the New Nigger! Irresponsible If Rich, Downtrodden If Middle Class!
Now let’s go FUCK the World! We gotta get rich as Quick as possible, Society be Damned! Who needs Society? WE DON’T, cuz we Republicans! We need another Tax Cut fo dee feelthy Rich! Cuz we are the New, Rich White, Republican Niggers!
And the poor little Working class, or Middle class White man? Well, he’s the new Black Man! Hey Middle class White man, how does it Feel to be the New Nigger? Do you like it down there, now that the Rich are so far above you, on the Economic Plantation Ladder?
Now don’t you Complain none, Old White Hoke! You just get back to work, and work harder, or you’ll get another Whippin! You hear me, White BOY? Your Job is just to “Drive the Rich” to Greater richness! Yas suh! You be old Hoke, the Chauffeur, yoked to the steerin wheel spoke, “Driving Miss Crazy”, the rich Republican Bitch, down Idella Lane!
Askin dee White man if you can “Go make Water” on your bathroom break, at your Corporate Veal Pen job! Get back to Work, white Boy, we already gave you your monthly ration of Meal Pellets, your sack of flour, and next months rent! Be grateful you’re alive, and haven’t gotten sick yet, or lost your precious job!
Oh, and by the way, remember to tell everybody the cold, Cash hearted Republicans, are really saving the world, caring for Society, and doing God’s Work! It’s called Tough Love! As in, “Tough, if you ain’t getting any Love! Because we don’t Love society, just the money we get from it!” Got it?
Yep! Tell ’em you’re doin God’s Work!
That sounds MUCH better!
Tough Love, God’s Work, and Screw Society! That’s the Republican Holy “Profit”! Fooling the Average American Joe, Who Knows Everything, There Is To Know! Plumbing the Shallow Depths, of the Blue Collar White Boy’s, Twisted and Very Limited Knowledge!
Tell people Republicans love God, not cash! They just might buy that.
You see, your average person is really not that bright. BUT, they THINK they are REALLY BRIGHT! And they think they’re smarter than everybody else. They also think they are smart enough to think they have it all figured out. They think they know the Easy Simple Answer to Everything in their easy, simple brains, with their botched logic, bad data, half truths and their limited mental power.
That’s the beauty of the Republican scam. Fool the vast mass of Stupid People while you can, then take the money and run. The Trick is how you go about fooling them.
All you have to do, as a Rich Corporate Republican, is Fool just enough of the average people to vote for you (the hard core Non Thinker Base, the independents, and the undecided) who desperately want their lives simplified with “Simple Republican Answers”, to life’s tough Questions.
The American Money Game, the Tilted Game Board, and the Congressional Clowns! The Dickring Brothers Circus Is Back in Town!
And once you get in power, then you can tilt the Game Board, and rig the American Money Game, in favor of the Rich. After awhile, it’s too late or too hard, to turn things back to a Fair Deal for all the Little People, who live Tromped under the Feet of the Rich. Upstairs, downstairs, no more upstairs for you! From now on , you’re just a Servant of the Rich. Clean that Pool, Pool Boy! Polish that silverware! Come on over here, and Suck My Dick! Serve your Master, right Quick!
As the American Money Game becomes more and more tilted, rigged, and finally fixed, all in favor of the Rich. Don’t even bother Hoping, the Outcome is already Stacked against you.
The Republican Carnival Barker has seen you coming a mile away. You’re an Easy Mark! You’ve already Lost, and the Game is not going to go your way! But Lucky You, you still have to play!
Step right up! See the three headed Capitalist Snake that talks to God! See the Hairy Sweat Shop Servant Girl, who can sew more Nike sneakers than any one in the World!
See the rich Wall Street Banker, with his Wheelbarrow full of Money! See the Bare Breasted, TV Network, “News” Girl Bores, kissing the camera lens doors, like smiling sex faced whores! See the Talking Senator, with multiple corporate penises jammed up his ASS, while he does his Corporate Puppet String Dance! Dance, Mr. Talking Senator, Dance! Do your golden pole, Strip Club Prance! Dance to the tune, of the Lobbyist Puppet Masters! Their Word, is their Demand, and their Command, that you must follow!
Welcome to Capitalist Circus World! Where Cash is King, and Money is the New Prayed for Messiah! Money is the New Rapture! Money will take us all to Heaven!
“Hey Mister! Can I go inside the Big Republican Tent, and see the Fake Democracy Circus?”
“Get away from me kid, you bother me! Come back when you have lotsa money!”
“Gee, Mister, that’s not nice!”
“You Dumb Kid! What do you think this is, a Fair Playing Field? You’re Nothing, if you don’t have Money! You’re just a piece of shit, a worthless Human Being! I have No Incentive to care about you! Come back when you come up with enough money to Qualify as a Real Human Being! Until then, you’re just TRASH, useless to the Capitalist System! A discarded part, on the discard pile of life! You’re just Leftover, useless parts, waiting for a Function!”
* * *
www.CultureDrums.Blogspot.com
Faint Bernard
Society, and the Pie Eating Contest!
You’re not here for long, your days are numbered.
Grab it while you can, but try not to Fuck Everybody in the process.
That’s the difference between Republicans and Democrats.
Republicans want to grab it while they can, all for themselves, and they don’t care if they fuck everybody in the process. “Get rich quick, and then scram to my Safe Island. I am an Island, I owe Society nothing.”
Democrats, on the other hand, would like everyone to have a fair chance at earning a small, fair piece of the pie. They also want everyone to carry a fair share of the burdens of Society, and to not have an unearned, or unfair share of the prosperity of a Society.
If you get rich in a Society, just what do you owe Society back? Are all of your earnings yours, earned by you? Rush Limbaugh would say, of course!
I say You got rich in society’s Game. How much do you owe Society, for creating the playing field for your Success?
Just as there are what econo-mists call “external costs” of business, that businessmen happily ignore, don’t pay for, and pass on to Society for society to pay, there are also “external benefits” that Society gives to businessmen, which they happily use for free, but then happily ignore in giving credit for their success. (I know, it’s a tough sentence, but read it again! You are brighter than everybody else, right? You will be Quizzed, interrogated, and water boarded on this one, Mr. Al Kadidleebop.)
It’s the difference between being Unfair and Completely Selfish in society. Or trying to be Fair, less selfish, and yes, “kind, considerate, and helpful”, to society.
Which one of those Positions, do you think is closer to God?
Share the fish and the Bread, when times are difficult?
Let all the people be fishermen and make a living? Or keep the fish pole, the hook and line, all for yourself?
Build lots of fishing boats, or just a few big yachts, and throw the “chum”, the fish scraps, to everybody else? And then tell people, “We’re all jolly good Chums, in this Together!”
Shall we ask a right wing Republican Preacher man, what Jesus would say?
Somehow, I don’t think I’ll like what a Republican Preacher will try to say. They are remarkably silent, when it comes to health care, and Economic Justice.
I like my God, better than yours!
My god actually listens, to what jesus said.
And my god is holier, and better, and has a bigger, Shinier Penis, than your god will ever have! He doesn’t use his big dick, his holy “Resurrection”, to justify fucking the people. Instead He “comes” to his people, with life giving Ejaculate, in hopes his people will share in the Pleasure, in the Hands on Experience, of Mastering the Harsh Beating of Life!
Oh, God, I’m Coming! Praise be, sweet justice, oh the Sweet Burning Sensation! Fair Play, and a Fair Hand, for all, who want to Master, the Beat of Life!
* * *
At the New Yawk Times Thought Control Depawtment!
(Knock, knock.)
Do you guys print “bee-yooty-full” poimetry?
Naw! Your poyim “The GOP Grinch”, is too structured, limerick wise, and it’s not stream of conscious enough! Plus it’s not too hard to figure out! In short, it’s not unintelligible gibberish! So, no, we would not publish it, because it’s not up to our usual standard, and it certainly won’t win any McArthur Genius grants! No way!
Now, if you was to say, get really high on some kind of chemical stuff, and just write down whatever comes to your mind, well that would be different, we might print that! Or chop up all the words on a page into little pieces, and glue them back in any order, that can look really Deep, and Geenie us like!
Now gedoutta here! We got work to do! We gotta fit the news, into a form, that’s fit to print! It’s all gotta be digestible! Accessible to your average Mind! You know what I’m sayin?
I think so.
So, sorry, Pal, no Genius grant for you! Personally, I don’t think your smart enough! Only real Geniuses get them!
Oh.
You want my advice?
Sure!
You gotta come up with some kinda catchy Equation, or something! Like something you can put on the side of a bus! And personally, I don’t think this looks too Equational, you know what I mean?
Hmmm…let’s see. Something like, “E=MC Hammer”? Or “Insurgency=Run DMZ”? Or “GOP=Death of Democracy”? Or, “Liberalism=The Slippery Slope to Communism”? Or “Emancipation=A Proclamation”, or, “Fancy Pants College Educations=Corrupted Corporate Conglomerations”?
Yeah! Something like that! Much better! Then you might have a shot at it! Until then you’re just Whistling Dixie! A Lost Cause, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think so. Thanks!
Don’t mention it. One catches on fast, at the New Yawk Times! Let me Clue ya, a lot of really Smaht peeple woik here! This ain’t like out in the sticks! You gotta keep your eye on the ball around here! Yes, sir! You gotta watch the balls!
* * *
Hmmm…Let’s see…Let’s add all this up.
Ready? Okay, let’s rewind!
The Republican Economic Meltdown!
Of 2008 and 2009!
Hold your Applause, it’s Not Over Yet!
Here Goes! The GOP Grinch that Stole Your Christmas!
Republicans fire the Business Police,
and let the Wolves guard the Sheep!
Saying the Wolves will work better,
when there’s no rules to keep!
So Wall Street Cops are fast Asleep,
as Mortgage Foreclosures Peak!
These were Mortgages on Steroids,
that Wall Street made sure to “tweak”,
for every last ounce of financial meat!
Even if it meant making women faint,
and strong men weak!
A shitload of Toxic Assets,
kills trust fast!
When you’ve built a House of Financial Cards,
that won’t last!
And when there’s a “run” on the bank,
there’s not enough real money,
to cover everybody’s Ass!
And then Everybody wants their cash back,
but there’s no real Dollar Value,
left to be had!
So Investment Banks Fail,
regular Banks Freak,
and Credit dries up to a tiny little Squeak!
Business slows to a crawl,
without Credit as the Grease,
and Workers are kicked out on the street!
Just as Gas prices peak,
And people realize that SUV in the driveway,
is too thirsty, and expensive, to buy Drinks!
And just then, Food Prices rocket skyward,
in a gasohol subsidized Corn Belt streak!
Stocks take a dive in the drink,
as Layoffs go up,
and Investor Confidence disappears in a wink!
Holy Shit, your Retirement Plan continues to shrink!
Not even Viagra, or a big whiskey drink,
or a girl with a big ass,
could make your shriveled little weeny,
grow hard and pink!
You’re lookin’ at workin’ part-time at Walmart,
and a retirement that stinks!
Autos are on the brink of Bankruptcy,
as new car sales sink,
and “Government Bailout”,
or “Socialism for the Rich”,
is the New “Free Market” Think!
“Help me, help me! I’m Too Big to Fail”,
they all scream and holler!
But on the way up,
the Rich say,
“Cut my taxes, I deserve every dollar!”
Pension funds are in doubt,
as layoffs continue to Sprout,
Will your Pension Fund be there,
when you get Old,
and all your teeth fall out?
Shoppers are Broke or Depressed,
forcing Profits way Down!
All the easy money,
has skeedaddled out of town!
All because the Greedy Republicans,
let the Financial System break down!
And when I look at all the Empty Houses,
I ask the Republicans,
is my Community becoming a Ghost Town?
Soup Kitchens need more Plates,
they’ve run out of Beans and Powdered eggs!
Can’t Poor people eat with Better Taste?
And Gated Communities lock their Gates,
and bar the doors with Ammunition Crates!
Right Wing Christians worry about Gays,
they sit in “Church” with Frowns,
and tightly crossed legs!
They say they love God, and People,
But don’t give a damn,
if the Sick are not healed,
or are financially crippled,
under America’s Health “Care” Steeple!
The Corporations get big tax Breaks,
and use them to ship your jobs away!
And then they say, “We Support Family Values!”
“Just Not your family, and Not today!”
With more Family Values like that,
there won’t be any “American Dream”,
after awhile!
And Native Americans say,
“See, I told you,
you just can’t trust,
the Forked Tongue,
White Man Smile!”
Illegal Aliens cross the Border,
helping the Rich create a “New Economic Order”!
Keeping wages down, and the Poor poorer,
and making the Super Rich, and Corporations,
The Permanent Rulers!
Citizens Vote to send Politicians to the Poke,
while the homes of Hollywood Fornicators,
go up in Smoke!
New Orleans says, “Hey, Motherfucker!”
“What about me?”
And President Bush says, “Hey, y’all!”
“Look at my White House Christmas Tree!”
But the Tree Burns down,
because it has Cheap Chinese Lights,
that are Not Safety Rated,
to Protect Human Rights!
And Bernard Madoff, that bastard son of a bitch,
makes off with all the Gold,
of the Jewish Rich!
A Sum, some say,
that reaches 50 Billion!
So the sunburned Jews of Palm Beach,
are all busted and Sad!
Now they can’t afford to Donate,
A single, new Pavilion!
The Banking Crisis spreads across the Globe,
to Europe, China and Asia!
How far it will go, nobody knows!
Even Iceland,
is in Financial Hot Water,
and may soon foreclose,
on its reindeer, and Snow!
The price of Oil finally drops,
as peak demand stops,
and Arab Oil Sheiks totally freak out!
Is it Too Late for GM,
as they Beg for another Bailout?
The “Demoncrats” take back Control!
Republicans are in a Pout,
their Noses in a Greedy little Piggy Snout!
All that Crap they did Spout,
about a deregulated “Rule-Free” Market,
didn’t quite Pan Out!
And now the People are Pissed!
How come the “No Rules” Market,
didn’t make Everyone Rich?
What a Bitch!
The Nation’s Economy is now stuck,
in a Classic, Speculative, Wall Street Ditch!
And why are you missing,
a painful, Bloody Inch?
Because it was those “No Rules”,
Republican Cock Suckers,
who just bit the tip off,
your Clitoris, or Dick!
Ouch! I hope this Teaches you,
a Painful Financial Lesson!
That you were never really “Up There”,
with the Super Rich!
And your hard earned Cash,
and Life Savings,
can disappear in a Flash,
when you’ve just been Raped, Bitten,
and Trashed,
by those “No Rules”,
“deregulated”,
Cock Sucking,
REPUBLICAN DICKS!
Signed,
Faint Bernard
Protector and Defender of the Holy Virgin Untwisted Pure Cotton Truth!
Inventor of the “Reality-o-meter”, the first Device ever, to actually measure, with a fine tooth comb, the Pureness and Freshness of Truth! With 99.99% accuracy!
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights reserved.
Including the right to look you in the eye and say, “How does it feel to have the Republicans bite off the tip, of your little clitoris sized dick?”
That’ll teach ya to drive down the financial highway of life, without any rules of the road, while getting your dick sucked by a Republican Whore! Bang! Ka-Chomp! AAAHHHHHHH! Where’s the tip of my Dick? It’s being munched on by an Ugly Republican! AAAHHH!
Inside the “Head” of a Republican Voter: “Damn! I think I’ll Vote Republican again, I wanna Experience that Financial Castration Sensation, one more Time!”
(Courtesy of the Republican influenced, and Wall Street controlled, “Financial Castration Speculative Securities Circumcision Commission”, or, FCSSCC, aka, the “Fucking Citizens Safely, Continuously, and Securely Committee”, whose Motto is: “No Regulation Required here! It’s just us Wolves!”. Paid for by Wolfman Brothers Investment Chancres, Bare Sterns, Gold Mine Sacks, Mug ’em and StunThee, and Lay Them Brothers.)
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
* * *
Robbed, Reamed and Raped, by Big, Swinging, Elephant Sized, Wall Street Dicks! Corporate Rape versus Government Rape, Who’s More Efficient and Thorough?
Hey Y’all! Stop on by! Get your cooter all lubed up! Them GOP Dicks are coming again! Bend over easy, it’ll make it feel better next time Around! Just remember to Liberally Apply some more “GOP, Freedom Patriot, Mom Apple Pie, Anal Lube!”
Yeah, that’s right, you stupid little “Independent Voter” Robot, go ahead and vote for the Republicans “promising” to help you get rich quick again thru “tax cuts, deregulation, and getting rid of government”, so everything will be run by those “warm hearted, caring, profit loving (but not people loving) Trustworthy Giant Corporations!”
That’s right! Learn ABSOLUTELY Nothing from this Republican Caused Economic Meltdown, that was caused by Republicans “forcing down our throats” the Republican THEORY of, “Deregulate and privatize EVERYTHING”.
Do you know what “Limited government and Lightly Regulated industry” translates into, Conservative Boy? It’s not the flash card Republican Answer you get from TV’s GOP Shill “Little Georgey Porgy, Slickster Dick, McSwill”!
I’ll tell you what you get! You get a MORE Thorough and COMPLETE fucking at the hands of the Corporate Elite! That’s what you get when you have “no rules, no supervision, and no Business Cops on Wall Street and Business Street”. Got it?
Yes, government may Inefficiently fuck us sometimes! So to SOLVE that problem, Republicans want to SWITCH to A DIFFERENT FUCKER, a Better Fucker, a More Efficient Fucker, and let the Corporations fuck us More Efficiently, and COMPLETELY, ALL The Time, to the very last drop of Corporate Profit Hunger!
Yeah, that’s Brilliant, Einstein! Throw the baby out with the bathwater, and hire a Full time, Corporate Serial Rapist and Child Molester, as the New Head, Nanny, and Nurse Ratchet, of the New Corporate Run Maximum Profit State! Heil Hit Me, My Right Wing GOP Leader! Have we reamed out the Maximum Profit, from the PEOPLE yet? Maybe this manual Auger will do!
Now BEND OVER! I have to line up the Auger JUST RIGHT! I don’t want to miss your ASSHOLE, and lose any profit! There’s got to be more PROFIT up there! Reaming out the people’s Asses has ALWAYS been profitable! Oh look, see, there’s another Shitload now! Milton, grab the Gold lined Shit sack! This is too good to pass up! Here it comes! What a Bonus!
Who’s the Better Rapist? Government? Or Profit Hungry, Amoral, Big Bureaucratic, Corporate Business?
Republicans want to turn an occasional inefficient Government fucking, into a fulltime, totally Efficient, Corporate Fucking. They say “Choose Corporate EFFICIENCY, choose to be raped by a Cold hearted corporation, and make the Rape more efficient, complete, and thorough! AND, you’ll be left with no way to Vote Out the entrenched Corporations, and no way to fix any problems that are sure to crop up!
But YOU think if there is a Problem, you’ll just Stop Buying from the negligent Corporation, and put them out of Business, and the market will correct itself?
Or you’ll use advance information to make Responsible, Libertarian Style “Informed decisions”, and Totally Avoid buying any faulty products or services that might hurt you or your family? And your “informed purchase decisions” will create safety for you, better than an “Unnecessary Big Gubmint Consumer Protection Agency”?
If you believe you can do that, try putting the last remaining TOP 4 Monopoly Style “only game in town” health insurance companies in America out of business! Fat Chance, Libertarian Boy! This last year should cure you of that notion! The top 4 Monopoly Health Insurance companies NOW control Your Senator and Congressman, who dance to the Insurance company’s tune, and not yours!
Just make sure you can always pay your health insurance payment, even when it goes Way Up! And if you don’t have the premium cash, just put a statue of Jesus on your dashboard, and pray real hard you NEVER EVER GET SICK, and Never Lose your job with its health benefits, you stupid fuck!
And just make sure you never buy a defective car, where you are among the first thousand people or so, with the Faulty Gas Pedal, on YOUR Toyota car, that you thought was super safe, based on your “informed purchase Decision”!
And my friend, don’t bother to sue the company when their product kills your kid, or your wife, because you’ll only get a dollar or two as compensation, with Republican “Lawsuit Reform”, which TRANSLATES into LOW Compensation paid out to you for losing your kid, and just a mild slap on the wrist for the Corporation, just a small cost of doing business for killing your kid, and definitely “No Market Incentive” at all for the company to Improve its product.
Oh, but I forgot, YOU’RE gonna “stop buying their Defective Product”, and the Company will just go out of business, like that, in a flash, for killing your kid, punished by the “self-correcting, self regulating market”, punished by all the “bad publicity”, and by all the other people out there who really don’t care, or give a shit, about your stupid little kid dying! (It’s not THEIR kid, so they’re just Fine!)
Yeah, right on, Mr. Magic Market GOLDILOCKS, count on it! You got any other magic THEORIES, up your untrained Economic Ass, Mister Doctor of Economic Theories?
Maybe you could all form a club of “Kids Killed by Corporate Negligence”, and you could all sit around and say how great it is to have “lightly regulated Industry, limited Government, and Tort Reform”, while wearing a bow tie, a tweed jacket and spouting on a Washington Corporate TV Network Talk Show, pretending to be a great historical and economic pundidiot, and speaking in an oh so smooth and polished, erudite and urbane manner.
Ah yes, “Gorged SWILL”, autobiographer of “The Soul of the Corporate, Republican, Cash Hoarding, Conservative Shill”, who I’m sure in a few short years, will never give up HIS “Big Gubmint, Social Security, Medicare, Runaway ENTITLEMENT checks!” No, Suh! Not for one “Socialist, Nanny State, Entitlement Retirement, Give Me Mine Minute!” Yes indeedy, Butt Wheat! Them compassionless “Repugnicants” want every last dollar for themselves, nice and greedy, unfair AND sleezy, all the way to the end!
The “Soulcraft of Screwing the Little People, and Stacking the Deck, All in Favor of the Rich”! Good old, Washed Up, nothing new to say, Gorged Swill, the Pundidiot, will say Anything, in a falsely charming manner, to stay on TV!
Gorged is Grateful that the scaredy cat, corporate cock sucking, bullshit TV producer who is running the Pundidiot Show, is so fearful of a ratings crash, that he still invites Gorged back! Why? Because there is No One Else in America who can do Gorged Swill’s job better! Who else is willing to get up there, week after week, and urbanely lie for a living?
Because of a pundidiot TV show producer with no balls, we, America, get to listen to Gorged Swill continue to spout “flash card” shit, and collect a check until he retires. But we know better, because Gorged Swill is really just coasting, tired, and bored, like Peggy “I’m so bored I can hardly bother to be here” Noonan, on the same old swill, the same old shtick, of Image, flash cards, and glib.
Gorged Swill might as well just stand on top of the bleeding dead body, like the good little public relations “man” he is, with the cloud of gunpowder still wafting over the corpse, and say, in his best, page one, public relations manual routine, “It’s time we put this all behind us, and moved forward!”
It’s time to throw Gorged Swill on the ash heap of sloppy and careless “historical analysis”. Let him go home and play with his baseball cards. He’s really not contributing much to a real debate. He may dress like a college professor, but his output Flunks. If this is the best America can do, we’re Fucked. Tenure Denied! Hand over your bow tie and pipe, and rip of your elbow patch stripes! Buck private for you Gorgey! Go dig a latrine in your back yard, and talk to it! That’s where your shit Shtick belongs.
Oh, and whatever you do, keep Gorged Swill, far, Far Away from Economic Issues, preferably in another Galaxy. A little economic knowledge in this man’s hands is a very dangerous thing. It’s his “never studied weak spot”, no, more like his Blind Zone, and he his definitely NOT QUALIFIED. Even if he had a full time Economic tutor sitting next to him on the show, feeding him talking points, he’d still manage to fuck it up, and get it all wrong.
As soon as he starts talking about ANYTHING Economic, tell him to Shut the fuck UP! Just say, “Now Gorge, you’ve got to Stop!” Got it?
Better yet, just tell him to stay home.
Fort Tort Reform! Turn the Cash Cannons the Other Way! Shoot the Citizen Consumer, With Economic Injustice Grapeshot! Charge It, and Reload With More Bank Fees! Fire, When You See the White’s of Their Middle Class Eyes!
Tort Reform is just another GOP Reframe, a different way to say, “We don’t want a legal Cop on the Beat, in Business World, and we don’t want Justice in Consumer Land!” Why?
Because Lawsuits are an effective “Incentive” to Behave Responsibly! (Republicans are always talking about incentives, but ONLY the ones they like, that will help them get richer quicker, and help them avoid the cost of being responsible! Now you’re catching on! You got it!)
And business men don’t want to deal with Legal Incentives, because they actually work in keeping businessmen acting responsibly, and Business men don’t want to be Responsible for their Actions, because it means they can’t keep every last ounce of profit for themselves! Got it?
So make sure ya got real good “financial insurance”, for the next time you get your financial dick munched off in an Economic Meltdown, “Mister Brilliant Independent Voter, who Doesn’t Know What Side he’s on”!
“Well, I thought I was rich! But now I’m Poor! WHO should I Vote for next time? Who cares about the middle class, and the working class?
What am I NOW? Am I rich, middle class, or working class? Only my credit cards know for sure!
Who Should I Vote for Next time?
Your problem is thinking you’re actually part of the Rich! How many times do the Republicans have to burn you, before you realize you’re NOT part of the RICH?
Independent dickweed (scratching his head): “Well, I had a Bunch of credit cards, and a really big “King of the Road” SUV, and a BIG Mortgage, and a second mortgage for extra cash and stuff! I thought I was Rich, I mean, I felt rich! How rich do you have to be, to Really Be Rich?”
“I mean, I was makin’ my Payments, or at least the Minimum Payments, so, ya know, I guess, it seemed like I was rich! Hey, man, I’m a Smert guy, I had it All Figured Out! I wear a Nascar Blue Collar Dumb Guy baseball hat, and drive a Captain of the Universe SUV! Don’t blame me! Things were, like, ya know, lookin’ real good there, for a while, while the party lasted!”
UNTIL YOU GOT FUCKED BY THE REPUBLICANS! And their THEORY of “No Rules Deregulation”! And just at that Moment, the unregulated Financial Excesses of the Corporate Wall Street Rich came to full FRUIT, and they Ejaculated (shot) their Sticky “Comedown” all over your Stupid, know it all WHITE BOY FACE!
Remember that, Pal, the next time you’re standin’ in the Voting Booth, jacking off with the Republican lever in one hand and your dick in the other, dreaming you’re gonna get rich again, and buy your own little Island!
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That’s www.CultureDrums.Blogspot.com
It’s Payback Time, for All Your Loans!
Think Harder, White boy! Use all the little Brainpower God gave ya, and you might learn something, from this pleasant, economic Meltdown!
Where did you ever get the idea that Rich Republicans are trying to help YOU (and your little dick) get really rich?
YOU, you see, are the Little Guy who just THINKS he’s rich, becuz he’s making all the LOAN payments, but really doesn’t know what REAL rich is.
Real rich is Not Needing, A LOAN! Oh, but once you pay off the loans, then you’ll be rich? Oh, I see! Ding-dong! Hello!
Well, guess what? The Republicans just cut short your Loan Payback Period, oops, I’m sorry, “Your Investment Payback Period”, to NO ABILITY TO PAY IT BACK AT ALL! Hand back the keys, GAME OVER, your Grand Scheme just bit the dust, you never really owned it at all, it was all just ON LOAN, Mr. “Super Rich”!
Did Little Red Riding Hoodlum tell you that Rich Republicans want to actually HELP you, get Rich? Or did Pollyanna? How about the Deregulated Tax Cut Tooth Fairy?
Here’s the lesson: The REAL rich only want to help themselves get richer. You, my little Asshopper, are “in their way”, and you are to be Used to help them get richer, and will be discarded when they no longer need you, or you will simply be fucked in the process from beginning to end! Got it?
Okay, I’m being too hard on you! I’ll pretend for just a moment that your Personal Goal Business Model, that is to say, your “Planned Life and World View Model”, is actually TRUE! (But if you’re a Chick, I’ll probably still want to be Hard on you! Where would you like me to rub my Hard on you?)
Here goes!
“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! And He’s at the North Pole Headquarters of the Republican Fat Cat PARTY, and they want YOU to become a Rigid Member, or Tool, of ‘The Get Rich Quick, No Responsibility to Society Party’! You compassionateless Dickhead!”
Yeah, and you Will be “Richer” for the Experience, after Wall Street, the Banks, and cold hearted, Multi-National CORPORATE “America”, FUCKS You Again, and Again, and AGAIN! Wham, Bam, BAM! Thank you, Ma’am! Was it Good for you? It was for me!
The Global Economic Meltdown Ride! Let’s Do It Again!
How many “Global Economic Meltdowns” rides do you have to go thru, before you CATCH on, that this ain’t no Fun Theme Park?
Or are you one of those Total Republican Assholes, going around spouting that Big Bad Government FORCED poor little old Wall Street, to give loans to people who couldn’t pay them back, and this whole meltdown wouldn’t of happened if Wall Street hadn’t been “FORCED” to give away all those BAD Mortgages?
That’s what they are actually telling people, feeding to their Base Voters! It was Clinton, Fannie Mae, and Barney Frank that FORCED Wall Street to Go Nuts! Rich, cold hearted, Republican Wall Street BUSINESS MEN had NOTHING to do with it! They were FORCED to do it! Kidnapped into it, against their BETTER Judgement! Oh, God, shoot me now, I don’t want to live in a world filled with such fools!
If you believe Wall Street was Kidnapped into giving money away, tell me what kind of pot you’re smoking, because I’d like to try it, if it’s that good!
Arnold “Nazi Boy” Schwarzenfloofer, der Guv-in-nor of der state of Cawlly-fornya, he says Big Bad Gubmint, FORCED poor wittle, soft hearted Wall Street, to Meltdown the Mortgages! That wascally wittle Gubmint wabbit! Forcing Wall Street to Hippety Hop against its will! Bad Wabbit!
Talk about denial, avoiding Blame, and not taking Responsibility for your Actions! These Republicans are acting like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, who then says “What cookie jar”?
GOP Theorist: “Well the Republican THEORY was, we could have our Cookies, and Not Pay Taxes for them, too! I have no idea why Jack Unkemps Supply Side Dickonomics didn’t work as we planned!”
I hear there is lotsa Pot in Cawlly-fiorneeya, so Arnold the Goobernator, must be smoking a lot of it in those Big Cigars he is always smoking! He does kinda look happy around the eyes, or is that the mandatory Hollywood eyelift?
Isn’t it sad? The Republican Party is reduced to lying, to it’s not very bright, Base Voters, to keep them in the fold! If you are a GOP think tank writer (Rewriter, I should say) You Can’t go home and put your little daughter in your lap, and say, “Daddy is an Honest Man! Daddy does Honest Work for a Living! Daddy believes in the Truth and honesty, so help me Jesus!”
That would be breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
And if you can’t Play Fair, why are you playing at all?
Last Wishes, Last Bill and Testacle Mint! Before I Become Infected, and Die From the “GOP Pox”, Also Known As “Venereal Voter’s Disease”, or Simply “The GOP”, as in, “I’ve Got the GOP!”
There are three things I’d like to do before I die: Have sex with a woman and eat her pussy for a long, slow time, make a really good rock n roll CD for posterity, and try some of that weed you Republicans are Smoking!
Oh Lord, take me now, it’s getting way too weird down here with all these Republican, Libertarian, Tea Party, Religious Freaks, all walking around with broomsticks up their butts! I’m not sure I can take it much longer! Please Lord! Pass me some of that “tea” those Tea Party Freaks are smokin!
And whatever you do, don’t throw the “Tea” in the River! I hear that shit has gotten REALLY expensive! In my day, a “Dime Bag” really was ten bucks, and an ounce was fifteen! You could even buy a nickel, for five!
Hey! Maybe that’s why Rich Republicans always want a Tax cut! It’ll bring down the price of the Pot they’re always smoking!
What if I tell my “unaffordable health care” doctor, that listening to Extremist Republicans is like having Cancer, do you think he’ll give me some Medical Marijuana for FREE?
Dude, I’m not crazy! I’m just Innovatin’, thinking’ outside the Box here, getting all Mavericky and Rogue-y! I’m trying to think like a Republican! You know, “gaming the System”, getting my Free tax cut, getting everything a Rich feller is “entitled” to! Don’t wanna leave the little people unstoned, and unburned!
Wow Dude! Do ya think Rich people just get high on burning Money?
I don’t know, Man! But I think those dudes on Wall Street do! I think they actually “melt” the money!
I’ve never tried melting it before! Do ya think you get higher if you Melt the money?
I don’t know, but maybe it turns into Hash, or a spoonful of liquid Cocaine!
Wow dude, I never thought of THAT!
Well, you know what they say, “Money is a Gateway Drug to Evil, and a Gateway Drug to Membership in the Republican Corporate Party!”
Wow dude! I never knew that!
Yep! It’s true! Heil Hit me, My Right Wing GOP Leader! Let’s get High and Mighty Whitey, on White Power Buck Fucks, perpetrated on the little people!
And let’s become totally consumed with Corporate fuel injected cocaine Cash Addiction, and Mighty White Righteous Religious Might, cleansing the world of the Wrong Religions! And let’s have Cash become the New King, the New Messiah, and take over Everything, including our Democracy, and replace it with Corporate Representatives and Legislative Lobbyists, “elected” by Corporate Money approved by the Conservative packed “Cash is Supreme Court”!
And let’s get every man, woman and child in America, hooked on cash, with a severe case of Corporate Cash Addiction, the New Religion, and willing to break into your Symbolic House, and rob you, to get the money for their next, Needle in the Arm, cash FIX!
That’s Mighty White of you, Brother!
Right on!
You da Man!
You go girl!
The White Man Is the New Nigger! Irresponsible If Rich, Downtrodden If Middle Class!
Now let’s go FUCK the World! We gotta get rich as Quick as possible, Society be Damned! Who needs Society? WE DON’T, cuz we Republicans! We need another Tax Cut fo dee feelthy Rich! Cuz we are the New, Rich White, Republican Niggers!
And the poor little Working class, or Middle class White man? Well, he’s the new Black Man! Hey Middle class White man, how does it Feel to be the New Nigger? Do you like it down there, now that the Rich are so far above you, on the Economic Plantation Ladder?
Now don’t you Complain none, Old White Hoke! You just get back to work, and work harder, or you’ll get another Whippin! You hear me, White BOY? Your Job is just to “Drive the Rich” to Greater richness! Yas suh! You be old Hoke, the Chauffeur, yoked to the steerin wheel spoke, “Driving Miss Crazy”, the rich Republican Bitch, down Idella Lane!
Askin dee White man if you can “Go make Water” on your bathroom break, at your Corporate Veal Pen job! Get back to Work, white Boy, we already gave you your monthly ration of Meal Pellets, your sack of flour, and next months rent! Be grateful you’re alive, and haven’t gotten sick yet, or lost your precious job!
Oh, and by the way, remember to tell everybody the cold, Cash hearted Republicans, are really saving the world, caring for Society, and doing God’s Work! It’s called Tough Love! As in, “Tough, if you ain’t getting any Love! Because we don’t Love society, just the money we get from it!” Got it?
Yep! Tell ’em you’re doin God’s Work!
That sounds MUCH better!
Tough Love, God’s Work, and Screw Society! That’s the Republican Holy “Profit”! Fooling the Average American Joe, Who Knows Everything, There Is To Know! Plumbing the Shallow Depths, of the Blue Collar White Boy’s, Twisted and Very Limited Knowledge!
Tell people Republicans love God, not cash! They just might buy that.
You see, your average person is really not that bright. BUT, they THINK they are REALLY BRIGHT! And they think they’re smarter than everybody else. They also think they are smart enough to think they have it all figured out. They think they know the Easy Simple Answer to Everything in their easy, simple brains, with their botched logic, bad data, half truths and their limited mental power.
That’s the beauty of the Republican scam. Fool the vast mass of Stupid People while you can, then take the money and run. The Trick is how you go about fooling them.
All you have to do, as a Rich Corporate Republican, is Fool just enough of the average people to vote for you (the hard core Non Thinker Base, the independents, and the undecided) who desperately want their lives simplified with “Simple Republican Answers”, to life’s tough Questions.
The American Money Game, the Tilted Game Board, and the Congressional Clowns! The Dickring Brothers Circus Is Back in Town!
And once you get in power, then you can tilt the Game Board, and rig the American Money Game, in favor of the Rich. After awhile, it’s too late or too hard, to turn things back to a Fair Deal for all the Little People, who live Tromped under the Feet of the Rich. Upstairs, downstairs, no more upstairs for you! From now on , you’re just a Servant of the Rich. Clean that Pool, Pool Boy! Polish that silverware! Come on over here, and Suck My Dick! Serve your Master, right Quick!
As the American Money Game becomes more and more tilted, rigged, and finally fixed, all in favor of the Rich. Don’t even bother Hoping, the Outcome is already Stacked against you.
The Republican Carnival Barker has seen you coming a mile away. You’re an Easy Mark! You’ve already Lost, and the Game is not going to go your way! But Lucky You, you still have to play!
Step right up! See the three headed Capitalist Snake that talks to God! See the Hairy Sweat Shop Servant Girl, who can sew more Nike sneakers than any one in the World!
See the rich Wall Street Banker, with his Wheelbarrow full of Money! See the Bare Breasted, TV Network, “News” Girl Bores, kissing the camera lens doors, like smiling sex faced whores! See the Talking Senator, with multiple corporate penises jammed up his ASS, while he does his Corporate Puppet String Dance! Dance, Mr. Talking Senator, Dance! Do your golden pole, Strip Club Prance! Dance to the tune, of the Lobbyist Puppet Masters! Their Word, is their Demand, and their Command, that you must follow!
Welcome to Capitalist Circus World! Where Cash is King, and Money is the New Prayed for Messiah! Money is the New Rapture! Money will take us all to Heaven!
“Hey Mister! Can I go inside the Big Republican Tent, and see the Fake Democracy Circus?”
“Get away from me kid, you bother me! Come back when you have lotsa money!”
“Gee, Mister, that’s not nice!”
“You Dumb Kid! What do you think this is, a Fair Playing Field? You’re Nothing, if you don’t have Money! You’re just a piece of shit, a worthless Human Being! I have No Incentive to care about you! Come back when you come up with enough money to Qualify as a Real Human Being! Until then, you’re just TRASH, useless to the Capitalist System! A discarded part, on the discard pile of life! You’re just Leftover, useless parts, waiting for a Function!”
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www.CultureDrums.Blogspot.com
Faint Bernard
Society, and the Pie Eating Contest!
You’re not here for long, your days are numbered.
Grab it while you can, but try not to Fuck Everybody in the process.
That’s the difference between Republicans and Democrats.
Republicans want to grab it while they can, all for themselves, and they don’t care if they fuck everybody in the process. “Get rich quick, and then scram to my Safe Island. I am an Island, I owe Society nothing.”
Democrats, on the other hand, would like everyone to have a fair chance at earning a small, fair piece of the pie. They also want everyone to carry a fair share of the burdens of Society, and to not have an unearned, or unfair share of the prosperity of a Society.
If you get rich in a Society, just what do you owe Society back? Are all of your earnings yours, earned by you? Rush Limbaugh would say, of course!
I say You got rich in society’s Game. How much do you owe Society, for creating the playing field for your Success?
Just as there are what econo-mists call “external costs” of business, that businessmen happily ignore, don’t pay for, and pass on to Society for society to pay, there are also “external benefits” that Society gives to businessmen, which they happily use for free, but then happily ignore in giving credit for their success. (I know, it’s a tough sentence, but read it again! You are brighter than everybody else, right? You will be Quizzed, interrogated, and water boarded on this one, Mr. Al Kadidleebop.)
It’s the difference between being Unfair and Completely Selfish in society. Or trying to be Fair, less selfish, and yes, “kind, considerate, and helpful”, to society.
Which one of those Positions, do you think is closer to God?
Share the fish and the Bread, when times are difficult?
Let all the people be fishermen and make a living? Or keep the fish pole, the hook and line, all for yourself?
Build lots of fishing boats, or just a few big yachts, and throw the “chum”, the fish scraps, to everybody else? And then tell people, “We’re all jolly good Chums, in this Together!”
Shall we ask a right wing Republican Preacher man, what Jesus would say?
Somehow, I don’t think I’ll like what a Republican Preacher will try to say. They are remarkably silent, when it comes to health care, and Economic Justice.
I like my God, better than yours!
My god actually listens, to what jesus said.
And my god is holier, and better, and has a bigger, Shinier Penis, than your god will ever have! He doesn’t use his big dick, his holy “Resurrection”, to justify fucking the people. Instead He “comes” to his people, with life giving Ejaculate, in hopes his people will share in the Pleasure, in the Hands on Experience, of Mastering the Harsh Beating of Life!
Oh, God, I’m Coming! Praise be, sweet justice, oh the Sweet Burning Sensation! Fair Play, and a Fair Hand, for all, who want to Master, the Beat of Life!
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At the New Yawk Times Thought Control Depawtment!
(Knock, knock.)
Do you guys print “bee-yooty-full” poimetry?
Naw! Your poyim “The GOP Grinch”, is too structured, limerick wise, and it’s not stream of conscious enough! Plus it’s not too hard to figure out! In short, it’s not unintelligible gibberish! So, no, we would not publish it, because it’s not up to our usual standard, and it certainly won’t win any McArthur Genius grants! No way!
Now, if you was to say, get really high on some kind of chemical stuff, and just write down whatever comes to your mind, well that would be different, we might print that! Or chop up all the words on a page into little pieces, and glue them back in any order, that can look really Deep, and Geenie us like!
Now gedoutta here! We got work to do! We gotta fit the news, into a form, that’s fit to print! It’s all gotta be digestible! Accessible to your average Mind! You know what I’m sayin?
I think so.
So, sorry, Pal, no Genius grant for you! Personally, I don’t think your smart enough! Only real Geniuses get them!
Oh.
You want my advice?
Sure!
You gotta come up with some kinda catchy Equation, or something! Like something you can put on the side of a bus! And personally, I don’t think this looks too Equational, you know what I mean?
Hmmm…let’s see. Something like, “E=MC Hammer”? Or “Insurgency=Run DMZ”? Or “GOP=Death of Democracy”? Or, “Liberalism=The Slippery Slope to Communism”? Or “Emancipation=A Proclamation”, or, “Fancy Pants College Educations=Corrupted Corporate Conglomerations”?
Yeah! Something like that! Much better! Then you might have a shot at it! Until then you’re just Whistling Dixie! A Lost Cause, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I think so. Thanks!
Don’t mention it. One catches on fast, at the New Yawk Times! Let me Clue ya, a lot of really Smaht peeple woik here! This ain’t like out in the sticks! You gotta keep your eye on the ball around here! Yes, sir! You gotta watch the balls!
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