BOOM! Crackle! BOOM! Bubble! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Who’s in the Corporate Cannibal Pot, Getting Eaten Tonite? Let’s Ask Chief MeatChopBone, of the Cash and Carry, Corporate Capitalist, Cannibal Tribe!
Whose Law of the Jungle, Are We Gonna Live By, Chief?
“It Depend On How Good You Taste! And How Profitable a Meal You Make, My Little Blue Collar Riding Hood!”
Pity the Poor Blue Collar Man.
He’s in the Classic worst of shitty job positions, with high demands put on him, and very little Control. One definition of high job Stress, or general Life Stress, is, “High Demands, Low Control.” With blue collar man, we have this in spades today.
How did this happen? How did the American Dream slip so far away, so Quickly for Blue Collar Man?
And why is he blaming the Big Bad Gubmint, and the Black Monkey Prezzident, instead of the friendly, trustworthy, cuddly, warm and fuzzy, cold hearted, ruthless, cutthroat CORPORATIONS?
How did Blue Collar Boy turn into an angry, stressed out Lab Rat, who thinks his Enemy is Big Government, instead of the blood thirsty, Vampire Profit Corporations?
Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall, Who’s the Biggest Blood Sucker of Them All?
Well, Blue Collar Boy is partly right, that the Government is his Enemy.
But only becuz Corporations, by using Huge Amounts of Money, gained from shipping jobs overseas, or by creating unofficial “limited competition cartels” at home, used Lobbyists to “BUY” our Senators and Congressmen, and then took over “our” Government during the last 35 years, and now the Government IS the Enemy, becuz it’s Controlled by the Corporations, who have Rewritten all the rules in favor of the Rich Men, and the Corporations.
Got it? Gumbo Cracker Republican Boy?
And the “Little People” are left sucking on what little is left, in the “Hind Teat” in the emaciated nurturing female civic body, and licking up tiny “paycheck scraps”, like a hungry Dog, under the Corporate Banquet Table of the New Class of Corporate Rich.
“Woof! Woof! Thank you, Oh Great Job Master Overseer! Can I lick my Balls now, AND Yours, for any extra peace, comfort, and solace, and warm gravy flavor?”
And THEN, in a miracle of Cigar Smoke and Magical Money Mirrors, the Corporations have convinced the Common Man, that it’s the Government that has fucked him, and NOT the Corporations!
There’s More! The Magic Corporate Chopper Also Slices! And Dices!
And, wait, there’s more, get this: the Profit Hungry Giant Corporations are Actually “ON THE SAME SIDE” as Little Blue Collar Man! Fighting for the BEST INTERESTS of the COMMON MAN! Wanting the SAME THING the Little Man wants!
WOW! The Giant Corporation looking out for the Little Guy! Ain’t that Sweet!
Please, shoot me now! I don’t want to live in a country this dumb! We’ve become a nation of absolute, total, blue collar, cracker, southern fools!
“Oh, Lordy! The Big Bad Corporate WOLF, wearing sheep’s clothing, is working to PROTECT Little Red Riding Hood! WOW!”
When did THAT happen?
Did it happen when every Guy in the world decided he didn’t want PUSSY on a regular basis? Or when every Guy in the World stopped Jerking Off his Cock? Or when middle aged single woman stopped dreaming of sucking a big stiff DICK?
Come on, who’s being naïve here? Corporations SAY they’re “ON THE SIDE” of blue collar workers! That’s rich. I’m gonna embroider that in flowers, and put it on my wall, next to grandma’s quilt! Ya WUSSY!
Nobody ever said Blue Collar Man was smart, and frankly folks, THIS just about proves it.
Blue Collar Man’s Piercing X-Ray Eyes! Sees Thru Corporate Smoke, and Complicated “Eco-numb-ic” Stuff!
Blue collar man has decided, with his BRILLIANT high school level brainpower, and in the depths of his FEAR, that he’s gonna TRUST THE BUSINESSMAN, and that he’s BETTER OFF with the Businessman in the Driver’s SEAT! WOW!
Double WOW!
“Extra! Extra! SHEEP TRUSTS WOLF!”
“Little Fish now trusts Shark! It’s Okay to PET the LION! Go ahead, put your DICK inside the Tigers MOUTH! You’ll get it ALL back! Trust me! Go ahead! Put it in there! He’ll only bite off a little! Maybe half, not ALL of it! Ya dickless, blue collar, WUSS!”
This just goes to show you how far the Blue Collar Man has been Beaten Down by the Corporations. He’s fallen so far, and so fast, he’s been turned into a Totally Wussy Pussy, absolute fried mincemeat, at the hands of the Corporate Jolly Green, Dollar Giants.
Blue Collar Boy, speaking to his Corporate LORD and MASTER: [He bows down and grovels, and speaks in a lower class English accent, with two, count’em, scraggly “Kentucky teeth!”] “Oh Please Sir, my lord and master, I’ll bend over, and let you Fuck Me, Suh, in Exchange for a job, Suh, that pays a few shillings, and peanuts! Anything for a Job, Sir! Please, Suh! Please fuck me, as often as you like, My lord! I just wants me JOB! I‘ve got me wife and kids, and a credit card to feed, Suh!”
Don’t need a Hard Hat for these guys anymore, cuz there’s nothing hard about ‘em anymore! They don’t have dicks, or balls left. These guys are total members of the WUSS Patrol! WHY?
Because they’ve been CASTRATED by the Corporations! By Ronald Reagan, and the Right! And turned into a squishy soft, little wet Pussy Doll, ready to be fucked, and “spermed” into, ANYTIME the corporation wants to. Got it?
And just WHY are Giant Corporations on the “Little People’s Side”? (God, I can’t even believe I have to ask that!)
Because (drum roll please) Corporations are So Nice and Wonderfully “Efficient”, and since THEY “Create the Jobs”, and, THEY supposedly pay most of the TAXES, they get to “Call the Tune”.
Nothing has changed, it’s all gone back to the way it was before.
He who Pays the Piper, gets to Call the Tune.
“That’s right, me boy, and don’t yee fergit it!”
The Corporate King is back!
BUT? But What, Butt Wheat?
Do corporations “create” the jobs?
Or does Society, as a “Collective Whole”, with its Resources, and Knowledge, enable individuals, to go out, and “create” the jobs?
This, my friends, is now your first new Blue Book Exam Question, since you puked at college, and fucked that fat chick in the dorm! Yeah, I know how you tried to forget her, but you can’t, Puddin’ Rice!
First, define “Society”, then define “Job”, and then answer “Which came first, Society or Jobs?”
For example: “Which came first, the Family, the Tribe, Society, or Private Sector Jobs?”
And, “What were the first Communal Societies like?” And, “Does the idea of a community, or tribe, sound Evil and Primitive, and vaguely like communism?”
And “When did the Tribe change from communism, to capitalism, to a kibbutz, and back again? And when did a tribe change from community property, to private property, and back again, to no fault, equal rights divorce?”
(Next semester we will study why Tax Cuts, also known as “free handouts for the rich”, make Republicans get thicker, and longer lasting Erections, for a brief period of time.)
And then answer the Main Exam Question, “Does Society Create Jobs, or do Jobs Create Society?”
Then answer, “Does a pussy and a dick create families, which then creates the need for jobs? Or do jobs create families, which then create lotsa little pussies, and little dicks, which grow up wanting more jobs, and wanting to create more pussies, and dicks?”
Or does sheer Hunger for food, create the need for jobs?
Does sheer hunger for ejaculating in a pussy create a family, and then the need for a job?
Or does a job allow you to ejaculate in a pussy, and create a family?
You have one hour to answer this Question of “Which came first, the chicken or the egg, the Job or Society? Or the Pussy or the Dick?”
You may begin!
[Sound of a stopwatch started, and then ticking.]
Tick… Tick… Tick…
Scornff-scurffle-flidg… [Sound of someone scratching the side of their leg, with a flip-flop still on their foot.]
And one final thing, you may not write the Answer on the back of your hand, Sarah Palin Style! Or on the Huge head of your dick! Or on the “cleavage” between your tits!
* * *
Want To Keep Your Job, Mister Blue Collar Man? Then Suck the Rich Man’s Dick! And SWALLOW Everything He Gives You!
So, Mister Blue Collar Man, you’d better do whatever you can to HELP the POOR Wittle Wascally Wabbit Corporation improve it‘s profit margin, even if that means working for peanuts, becuz if you don’t, YOU Little BLUE COLLAR BASTARD, YOU are gonna LOSE YOUR JOB, PRONTO!
In other words, “DON’T FUCK WITH THE KING! Whatever is Good for the King, is good for you, My LITTLE FUCKING PEASANTS!”
“You Blue Collar riff raff are so pathetic, naively DREAMING of Being a King one day! If you don’t Behave, the KING will Raise Your Taxes, lock you in the Dungeon, fuck your first born Virgin Daughter, and CHOP off YOUR head! And pull your dick off with a rope and a horse!”
“And sell your dull wife to a Duke, as a scullery maid! And put your meathead son in a church orphanage, so he can be molested by a Priest!”
“So tow the line! Shut the fuck up, and vote for what’s good for the CORPORATE KING, Your Divine EMPLOYER! GOT IT? If YOUR employer has it Good, some of it will TRICKLE DOWN TO YOU, dribbling off his GENEROUS Kingly DICK! GOT IT?
And you can lick what’s left over, trickling down, from his Majesty’s Divine Rod, and Royal Corporate Fuckstick!”
Updated for today it becomes, “Whatever is good for Big Rich Corporations, is GOOD FOR YOU TOO! And if you don’t Behave like good little Mice, and help your Corporate KING, your taxes will Go Way UP, and your job will Disappear! Why would you even think to Question that, you Fool!”
But it’s too bad, and too late for you, my friend! We, the corporate Lobbyists, just rewrote all the rules against you, you little Blue Collar Dork. Try having a nice life NOW, now that the Corporations are in Final CONTROL. You are just a Peasant, to the new corporate Kings and masters!
And if you become too much of a pest, why, we’ll just call Pest Control! The Unions, and real democracy, is DEAD, and you my friend, are now on your own, all by your little bitty Self, Little Red Riding Hood! You are Dead Meat! Just a pussy in the road, waiting to be run over, and fucked again, by the Corporate Truck.
Ka Thump! Feel good? Oops! Here comes another one! KA-WHUMPPP!
That’ll learn ya, White Boy! You the New Nigger, Now! The Corporations are the new Plantation Massas!
Say “Yassuh, Massa! Whatever you want, I dooz it! I’ll step and fetch it! I beez yor good Corporate Plantation Slave Boy!”
Now you’re catching on! Nobody to protect you now! You are on your own, Blue Collar WHITE BOY!
* * *
Who Knew? Today’s Blue Collar Dude, Not Used to Getting Screwed! Today’s Blue Collar White Man, Is the New Nigger!
Black people understand Getting Screwed by the Rich, a lot better than Blue Collar guys of today do, becuz the Black man has been screwed for so long, he understands how its done. The old blue collar Union guys from the first half of this century, who helped form the first unions, understood how corporations could be their Enemy and government their friend, but those guys are either dying off, or are long dead and gone by now.
The younger Blue Collars of today grew up under “take it for granted” conditions, and never realized how much government, and Democrats did for them, before the corporations took back the game, stole it back actually, and then rewrote all the rules in favor of the Corporate Team.
A Century’s worth of Progress in taming capitalism, and making it work FOR all the people, has now been completely Reversed by the greedy Corporations, who now reap all the benefits of the System, and tell us we should be grateful for the meager table scraps they deign to drop under the table to us, the new peasant dogs.
And now it’s the end of the 3rd quarter in the football game, and the Corporate Team is ahead. Way ahead. Say, Corporate Team, 35 points, and Common Man Team, 7 points.
The Common Man Team would have to get 4 touchdowns, plus 4 goal kick points, in just 15 minutes left in the Game, to tie the game. A pretty near impossible feat. You can go pee, or leave the stadium, and not miss anything.
And the Referees? Well, they are Completely on the side of the Corporate Team. These refs are gonna call everything against the Common Man Team.
And with the game so late in the 3rd quarter, the Corporate Team will be guaranteed to just run out the clock and “obstruct”, by playing heavy on defense, and not allow anything important to get done, not allowing any movement on the field, and just stall, “running out the clock”, before the next election comes, oops, I mean the game ends.
How long will it take Blue Collar Man to Realize all this?
Well, that depends partly on how stupid, or “S-L-O-W”, he is.
Until he realizes what has happened, he remains an easily manipulated Voting Block, for the Rich Corporations. These Corporations will continue to convince Blue Collar White Boy his best interest is to vote Republican, traditionally the party of the rich, known as the “Rich, White, Country Club Party”, and definitely not the Blue Collar Bowling League.
Blue Collar Boy will be reluctantly and partially “allowed in” to the Republican Party Country Club Tent, but only to get his vote. His time in the “Big GOP Tent” will be on a “Restricted Visa Basis”, as an “Illegal Immigrant”, or on a “Restricted Temporary Lower Class Visa Basis”, and then, only as a Cocktail Servant, Hotel Maid, or Party Convention “Tea Party, Pool Boy”.
And Blue Collar Boy will definitely not be allowed a Permanent Place in the GOP Party, if he is a Labor Union Sympathizer.
However, if he is willing to work way below minimum wage, or best yet, “off the books”, and without any safety regulations at all, then the Republicans will let Blue Collar White Boy stick around at the edge of the tent, a little while longer, as long as he isn’t too noticeable, or asks for a wage increase, or a fair share of the Social Pie.
* * *
Poor Blue Collar Boy! The Big Bad Corporate Man Has Stepped On Blue Collar Boy’s Little Winky Dinky! Waaah! Mommy, My Dinky Doo-Doo Hurts!
Boo Hoo Hooo! I Want My Old Job Back! You Know, the One That Paid Well, a Long Time Ago!
Mommy, If Government Didn’t Take Any Taxes Out of My Paycheck To Run the Government, I’d Have a Much Bigger Paycheck, Than the Measly Little Peanuts the Corporations Pay Me!
Blue Collar Boy is Squeezed from the top by the Giant Corporations, that have put a “cap” on his wages, and shipped most of his jobs overseas.
And he’s Squeezed from the bottom by the Illegal Immigrants, brought in by the Business Class, who wink and “look the other way”, and keep the illegals coming, by giving them Jobs, with No Questions Asked.
Caught in the middle between a rock and a hard place, it’s No wonder Blue Collar Boy blames the Government when he looks at his paycheck. He probably figures he’d be able to get by, IF ONLY the BIG BAD GUBMINT, didn’t take SO MUCH out of his Paycheck!
That’s Obvious to the Slow Lizard Brain of Blue Collar Boy, who is able at least to read his Paycheck! But Blue Collar Boy still can’t see all the Corporate Machinations behind the Political Scenes that fuck his life, rewrite the rules of the money game, and give the better deal to the people at the top!
Now, Ol’ Blue Collar Boy, being not quite the smartest rock in the stream, AND being kinda of an OBVIOUS sorta “thinker”, adds things up from what “Looks” obvious, right in front of his beady little eyes, and from “Evidence” that ain’t too hard for his little Dinosaur Brain to handle, like his paycheck.
So he never stops to think, that maybe the taxes to run the U.S. Government for a great country such as ours, wouldn’t take such a bite out of his paycheck, if the Giant Corporations actually Shared the Profit Pie, and shared the Huge Gobs of Money they make, and paid the Workers a Fairer, and Better Wage.
Why doesn’t he think this? Becuz it’s not obvious enough to him! It’s hidden in the Accounting Books!
Until then, Ol’ Blue Collar Boy is gonna keep thinking that the Sun Goes Around the Earth! Why? Because the Sun comes up in the East, and goes over his head to the West, Meaning that it must go around the Earth! I mean, That’s Obvious! Anybody can SEE that!
What Blue Collar Boy can’t see at this point, becuz it’s NOT Obvious, becuz it’s hidden under all the financial gobbledy gook, is his paycheck would be a lot bigger, and the taxes wouldn’t be a problem, if the Corporations weren’t Cheating the American Blue Collar Worker for all these years, and paying him way too little, and instead giving it all to the Stockholders, Wall Street, and the Managers of the Company.
Signed,
Fey’nt Bernard
Grand Vizier, Visioneer, and Seer, of All that is Hidden, Beyond the Smoke and the Mirrors!
Boo!
Spooky, Huh?
Go ahead, admit it, you just peed in your pants!
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All Rights Reserved. Including my right to say “Your company could have paid you more, all these years, when you gave them the Best Years Of Your Life, and they would have still survived very well if they were simply more careful and prudent managers of the company, but instead they chose to Cheat on you, and fuck you behind your back!”
* * *
When a Hot, Burning Cigar, Really Is a Penis!
[Somewhere, in a BIG Gold Encrusted BOARDROOM.]
Puff, puff. Bubble, bubble. Whirr, whirr!
[Cigar Smoke. A big Disco Ball Profit Reflecting Mirror spins overhead, to the Bee Gees tune “Stayin’Alive”, and piles of the Corporation’s Account Books are being cooked in a Giant Cannibal Pot, over a roaring fire, in the center of the room, stirred by an Accountant with a giant wooden pitchfork, until all the numbers are Soggy, and impossible to understand.
Naked secretaries fan the bored members with palm fronds, and rub their breasts in the men’s faces, and sit on their laps, pressing their wet pussies onto the men’s hard erections.]
The CEO Witch Doctor, with a bone in his nose, face paint, and a human teeth necklace, speaks.
“This Shithead Bernard sure says things in terms people can understand!”
“That’s right, Boss!”
“Yes sir, Chief!”
“Agree completely, Boss!”
“Second that”.
“Ditto”.
“Okay, which one of you guys is gonna lick my Balls, and suck my dick?”
“Me, Sir!”
“I will!”
“Anything you want, Chief!”
“Ditto that!”
“Bring it on!”
“Let me clear my calendar, Chief!”
“Let me hold my calls, Boss!”
“I’ll just turn off my Cell, Big Guy!”
“I’m there, Boss, anytime you need me!”
“Let me just call the Wife, and let her know I’ll be late, okay Chief?”
“Hey, I’ll Cancel my Vacation Day, you just say the Word, Boss, and I’m there!”
“Okay, since you all want to, you guys can take turns.”
“Great idea, Chief!”
“Super decision, Boss!”
“Good Call! You da Main Man!
“Wow, Chief! I just hope I can be like you some day!”
* * *
www.CultureDrums.BlogSpot.com
Hail Squeezer!
Y’all come back now, you hear?
We all got time for the truth, now don’t we? Or do we?
Bit of a Sting to truth, don’t ya think?
That’s what’s nice and slow about democracy. You don’t see the Pain that’s around you, with your head stuck in the sand, or stuck in a well stocked refrigerator in a nice suburb, until the Pain and Injustice, gets to you.
And then you learn, what kind of Society you live in…
Frankly, I don’t think a CEO making 400 or 500 million a year is enough, do you? They should make more. You know why?
Because they DESERVE it.
Why?
To the Conqueror, goes the Spoils, of War.
Bow down before our New Golden Caesar, and all hail his International Market Conquests, and the Reign of the His New Corporate Empire!
Long Live Caesar, and the Maximus Profitus Empire!
May we all lay Wreaths, and Tributes, at His feet!
Hail Seizure, of Capitalis! Our New EmPoorer!
* * *
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
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