Is Republican Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina GAY? Am I Not Supposed to Ask? Is No One Supposed to Tell Me?

My "Unit" doesn't feel heterosexual "Cohesiveness" when this Senator gets on My Tube. Maybe this is old news, maybe I'm way behind the curve on this, but every time I see Senator "Wimpy Boy" Lindsay Graham on TV with his mincing, lisping, namby-pamby Style of speakin', my "Gaydar" goes way off the Scope, and the needle pegs at 90 or 100 on the dial, and stops there rock solid, not moving an inch, like it's busted and never gonna work again.

Is my "Divining Rod", or my "Divine Rod" cuz it's so Dreamy, the only other Hunter-Pointer Dog that senses this Discrepancy between Republican Hard Liners, and Gay Republican Hardness?

I mean, he gets up there and starts spouting all this stuff about Demon Liberal Values, and Republican spending "Discipline", and Military Unit Cohesiveness (or, "Unic"), and all I can think of when hearing that voice of his is, is this guy a fudgepacker and cocksucker, or whut?

After living in the South for a short while now, I've learned that about the worse thing you can say to a Low IQ Southern Fried Redneck is to call him a FAGGOT. They actually physically pull back like you just held fresh cow shit under their nose. (It's alot like sayin', "Your Momma", to a Black Dude, up North.)

Now, I think Gay People should be allowed to marry, same as other people. We can always let the Southern Baptist Preachers have sex with prostitutes, gay dudes, and marry barn animals. But if a dude is a closeted hypocrit in the Republican Party, the Known Oppressors of Gay People, well, then that dude is a Lousy Faggot, and should be Tarred and Feathered and run out of Town.

So, I'm ASKING, is Republican Senator Lindsay Graham of The Great State of South Carolina, a Closet GAY???

Because everytime that Good Ol'Southern Boy gets on My Tube, mincing his words so precisely, I smell fresh cow shit under my nose. Am I way off base on this, or should I just say, "Don't Ask--Don't Smell?"

I mean, what's the deal here? In a state where a Redneck with fuzzy brown teeth can track down a gator in a swamp, smell a fresh virgin cousin a mile away, and think a washing machine is lawn sculptor, how can they not spot a Gay Republican Senator???

And in THE state that was the Original Confederate TRAITOR State, the first to leave the Union in 1861, and that Prides itself on Wholesome Hate-Filled "Family Values", and on being the Anti-Faggot, Anti-Nigger Capitol of the World...how did this Nancy Pants Senator ever get elected?

Or was it just Good Ol' Peanut Oil that Greased the Back Room Holes of Power?

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an Oppressed, Closeted Gay Guy, spoutin' crap about Demon Liberal Values.

I mean, what's next, he's gonna start telling me Niggers are People too???

Signed,
Faint Bernard
aka Chief ThunderTruth

Copyright 2009 by Bernard Drums! All right reserved, including Gay RIGHTS!