Pig Rocket!
“Ham-Ass”, the anti-Israel terrorist group, that wants to wipe Israel off the face of the Earth, announced today that it is going to use a weapon that the Jewish People fear the most. Pork Products!
The terrorist group will fire rockets into Israel that contain chunks of “Ham Ass”, or, what is commonly known as Pork Butt. Upscale neighborhoods will receive thin slices of tender “Ham Steak”. Lower-class neighborhoods will receive cans of Spam, delicious scrapple, freeze dried salad seasoning bacon bits, or most insulting, kibble and bits.
Ham-Ass said it was even considering packing rockets with raw bacon and hot bacon grease, setting it on fire on impact, and creating a new version of Napalm called JewBalm.
“His-Bull-Ah”, the other anti-Israeli terrorist group, that specializes in your average, standard everyday Arab Bullshit Conspiracy Theories, said today, ”Wow! Ham-Ass has really taken this up a notch in their ongoing Hatred of Jews! We are going to have to come up with a really good Conspiracy Theory to top this!”
The Israelis, fearing the Wurst, immediately announced a Counter Measure, a Wall of Giant Teflon Frying Pans, that will deflect, cook, and purify the Ham-Ass Rockets. The pans will be made in China, under the brand name, “Koshu Kosher Fry, by Milton FarberWar Wear”.
Reactions From Allah, God, and Whatever God Them Jew People Believe In.
God, Allah, and Yahweh, rolled their eyes, and all three said in unison, “When are THESE PEOPLE, going to live in Peace?”
The Three Gods, collectively known as “Godallahway”, or the Three Cosmic Stooges, pulled their Fuzzy Nebula Blankets across their Black Hole Beds, said “Wake me in a million years”, and all three promptly went to sleep. All three forgot to set the Super Nova Alarm Clock, known as the Big Morning Banger.
“Hey Mo, Larry, and Shemp!” (Slap! Bonk! Poink!) “Now Get to SLEEP!” (Snnnore! Whizzzzz! Weee, weee, weee!)
God’s Mom, called Mom-id, Mammah, or simply, “Mammy Hammy Yammy”, said grumpily to her Three Little God Children, “Well, maybe this will teach you to Think a little more, before you go around CHOOSING chosen people, left and right, and willy nilly!”
“If there’s not enough candy, gum, or Gods, for everyone to Share, then people don’t like it if only one person is Chosen, and has all the gum or Gods for themselves!”
“The Lesson is, if you’re not gonna bring enough gum, or Gods, for everyone to have a peaceful piece, then don’t bring any Gods at all! Becuz then everything gets all gummed up.”
Signed,
Faint Bernard
Lord of the Gum.
Copyright © 2010 by Bernard Drums! All rights reserved, including my right to chew gum, if I’m a Chosen One! Nana-nana, na-na! No Gum for you! You aren’t chewed, or chosen! Chew on that! Wally wally wally, you’re just a Dumb Gum Tree!
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My God is better than Your God! AND my dick is bigger than your Dick will ever be, you dickless WRONG Religion Person YOU! You are a BAD Stinky! Bad Stinky Person! You’re just a Stinky Dick! With wobbly bouncy balls. Go away, stinky dick!
Wash your Weiny, and pick the right God!
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Fire the Giant Penis Rocket! We’ll show those Bastards! Light the Giant Ball Cannon!
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